An ideal and imaginary interview scene

During  departmental promotion  time:-
An ideal but imaginary interview scene

😡  chairman of the board: There are 50 bricks on an aeroplane. If u drop 1 outside. How  many are left?

Employee : That's easy, 49.

First board member : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge

same board member: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.
The second board member  : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, who and why?

Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.

The first board member: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?

Employee : She   crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday
Chairman: Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?

Employee : Er....I guess she drowned....err...

Chairman: No! She was hit by the brick fallen frm the aeroplane. Thats the problem, you are not focused on your job....You may leave now!!!

Moral: If the management  has decided to screw u, no matter How much u prepare u will be screwed
😜😁😂😝 So don't worry about your review.. Just enjoy ur work😃 and enjoy life....
(Collected and modified to make it relevant for the ensuing promotion process)

SELFIE

"Me with you till the last as promised"
A young boy was in deep love with a girl.The girl too loved him limitlessly
One day that young man while going to the office with his motor bike met with a fatal road accident and expired on the spot.
After completion of all rituals and formalities,his dead body was taken to the cremation ground while that girl and other close relatives followed him crying relentlessly.Every body was grief stricken.
The electric furnace of that cremation ground was out of order and hence there was no other way but to cremate him in the conventional way with woods only.So the bed was prepared with the help of wood logs and then placed the dead body over the heaps of logs.just at that time,the girl jumped all on a sudden on to the bed of logs and lay beside her boy friend.Everybody was taken by surprise but appreciated the true love.just at this time,the girl brought out her mobile and by placing her head at 60°angel took a selfie and uploaded in the face book with a comment Me and my ex boy friend at the cremation ground.feeling sad with purohit(priest)and 14 others under the caption" Me with you till the last"

Balad mera bap hai

Shiv Satya Chakroborty was the brother of sibram Chakroborty -the famous Bengali   writer who was writing humours stories mainly for the children as well as to criticize the prevailing  superstitions of the society. .shiv was the English teacher of a school in ghatshila.
One day sibram visited his house and found his brother sitting in  Very morosed and depressed condition with heap of examination papers in front of him.
Sibram asked him the reason and shiv told him to go through the answersheet.
Sibram found to his dismay that against the question of writing an essay on cow,  all most everybody wrote something funny with the drawing of a cow.The first one wrote  "gai hamara mata hai English nehi ata ha"i beneath the drawing of a cow.
The second one wrote  "Gai hamara  Mai re  English nehi aai re" in the same fashion as that of the 1st one. 
The third wrote "  Gai hamara mata gi English nehi ata ji" and a drawing of a cow.
All most papers were answered in that fashion only.
Sibsattya asked as to what should he do now?
Sibram replied " what to do! Mark it as wrong with a Big Bang
cut mark X and give 0."
Sibsattya " what did you say dada? " "I shall cut the cows! Then they would behead me."
Sibram thought for a while and then  advised him not to cut but go give a big zero with a comment  "Balad(ox) mera bap hai number Dena pap hai"
The story is still relevant in the present context

Rajnikant The miracle man

PENULTIMATE SURPRISE OF 2017.
Politics have ultimately decided to join RAJNIKANT

The outstanding

1.One lady desired to race with time...The result ,the time is still running.
2.The same lady participated  in 2000 km race and she came first.But Einstein had a severe heart attack causing his death because the light came second.
3.when that lady was a student ,the teachers used to bunk the classes.
4.vidyasgar studied in street light.Galileo used lamp to study but she used to study in the light of Agarbatti.
5.The calender of that lady goes straight to 2nd April from 31st March so that no body can make her fool.
Are you now interested to know the name of that Lady?Nah baba I can not take a risk lest she said Enna Rascala who told you to publicise my name before I publish my autobiography and may punish me by saying "statue" and I would become the statue of Sins like statue of liberty.😈😈😈😈

TIT FOR TAT

A very busy doctor married an ordinary girl.
The wife naturally wanted more attention and time from her husband but the doctor failed to fulfil her desires for obvious reasons.
One day while the doctor was leaving for the hospital hurriedly early in the morning, the wife asked her husband to put the lock of the main gate in right shape which was not working properly.
The doctor became very angry and asked his wife if she considered him as a black smith.
Again on some other day, the wife again asked her husband to set right the cistern which was not working properly and the doctor husband again ridiculed his wife stating that he was not a plumber by profession.
Again after few days she requested her husband to bring two flower pots  for her  so that she could keep them on the balcony  and the the doctor again refused to do so saying he was not a gardener.
One day after returning the home in the night, the doctor found a new lock on the door, a new flash in the toilet and two flower pots  on the balcony.He asked if his wife could engage a person to put all these things in right place and shape!
The wife said nopes! "It had been done by Bibhu,the elder son of land lord but against one condition". The doctor became curious and wanted to know the condition. The wife said Bibhu wanted to have a chicken fry or a  day out with her for datinng.The doctor cum husband hurriedly wanted to know if his wife had treated Bibhu with the chicken fry!
The wife cooly asked him if he considered her as waitress of KFC!

TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION

Turning the pages of History.
Though train tracks  were laid much before 1909,there did not exist any toilet in any of the  bogies of passenger or express trains.
Sometimes in the year of 1908,a train came and halted at a station Called Ahmedpur in Birbhum district West bengal.
One Bengali gentleman  sri Okhil Chandra Sen had to go the platform enclosed toilet to attend to the nature's call. While easing himself, he heard the whistle of the train indicating departure from the station. Somehow he came out of the toilet holding the lota ( spherical ware vessel made of copper or aluminium)in one hand and the edge  of  dhooti on the other and started running towards the train which by then was leaving the station slowly.He even signalled the guard to stop the train but the guard did not pay heed  to his request and in his bid to board the train, he overturned on the platform in an awkward position. Having been felt insulted, he left the station and subsequently wrote a letter of complaint
to the authority in the year of 1909 that  it
was  necessart  for making arrangements of  a toilet in the train for convenience of the passengers.He stated that his stomach was highly overcast coupled with matching bolts and lightening due to overeating of jackfruits the previous night that made him compelled to go to the station enclosed toilet but the guard was heartless not to take his genuine problem in consideration and waived at the train to leave the station leaving him in lurch. The same letter is still kept in the Delhi Railway museum and the Britishers took immediate  steps to introduce the toilet in the trains.
Please salute that Bengali gentleman if you happen to use the toilet now even during your train journey.
The letter in original.....
A letter  which  created history*
Date: 02 - 07 - 1909
Divisional Railway Officer,
Sahibgunj,

Respected Sirs,
I am arrive by passenger train Ahmedpur station and my belly is too much swelling with jackfruit. I am therefore went to privy. Just I doing the nuisance that guard making whistle blow or train to go off and I am running with lotaah in one hand and dhoti in the next when I am fall over and expose all my shocking to man and female women on platform. I am got  at Ahmedpur station. This too much bad, if passenger go to make dung that dam guard not wait train five minutes for him. I am therefore pray your honour to make big fine on that guard for public sake. Otherwise I am making big report to papers.(ORIGINAL LETTER)

Your faithful Servant,
Okhil Chandra Sen

(THIS IS A TRUE INCIDENT)