WHAT IS TRAGEDY

During one of his campaign trips Donald Renolnd  was  visiting a training institute of a nationalised bank  and went  into one of the class room  of the trainees . They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The centre in charge  asked Mr.Renold if he would like to lead the discussion of the word “Tragedy.”  So he asked  the class for an example of a tragedy.A young trainee stood up and told "if a newly formed private bank goes in to liquidation within a short span of its inception because of the financial irregularities committed by the promoters with the help of some inexperienced but greedy  employees at  the cost of unsuspecting depositors,it is called tragedy"

“No,” said Mr.Renold “that would be an act of fraud”

A little girl raises her hand: “If all the employees or executives would have lost their job on liquidation , that would be a tragedy.”

“I’m afraid not,” explained  the exalted speaker . “That’s what we would call a natural consequences for those who got bank job without any rigorous process of selection and at best be termed as  a price for the lust  who joined the new bank at some body's recommendation or without any eligibility ”

The room goes silent. No other trainees volunteered.  Mr. Renold searches the room.

“Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

Finally at the back of the room, a boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: “If all such incompetent  employees would have been recruited  with any reputed bank without any examination in the same rank and after some time even promoted to higher cadre

that would be a tragedy.”

“Fantastic!” exclaims Mr. Renolnd , “That’s absolutely right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

“Well,” says the boy, “because it wouldn’t be a  fraud  nor even a little  loss to those  employees  but a great loss to the existing loyal staff members  and  probably wouldn’t be an accident either but a great feat of luck to those new employees and some other but at the genuine Loss  to the reputed bank nay of the society or country.”

PROFESSIONAL FEES

A HEART TOUCHING INCIDENT.
🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺
It was  an incident sometimes in the year of 2015 on a lazy winter  afternoon in Bangalore.
At that time I was going to my residence from the office by club road koromomgla.My driver stopped the car in between just opposite to Nair Bakery shop specially famous for selling instantly  done potato  chips crisp dried and hot albeit at a little higher price. I got down to purchase some crisp hot potato chips and found my money bag almost empty as I had forgotten to withdraw cash from the ATM. Yet I purchased 200 gms and was coming back by crossing the road.At that time I saw a middle aged begger asking for money by holding his hat up side down.I felt teribbly sympathetic and the good generous man inside me woke up.I walked down to him and gave him the packet containing chips and was about  to come back when the person begging money asked in a different tone, Money please?I said illa meaning no and to drive my point home showed him even the money bag.His eyes sparkled for a while and then the facial expression changed completely and with a soft voice apparently being choked up with sentiments handed me a total sum of Rs 105 by pulling it from the hole of his hat. I was wondersruck and asked him why. He told me he had not tasted this nice potato chips for long for want of money.Afted having seen it, he felt greedy and felt having an urge of tasting the chips with few pegs whisky.so he asked me to bring one quarter bottle of whisky and a mineral water bottle  from the near by liquor shop as he was lame and  found it difficult to walk.I did it like a waxen doll in full public view.
Moral of the story :-you must have to pay either by cash or kind or service if you attend to the call of any professional service.No compromise on quantum of professional fees.Every body has his self esteem.
The person who sent it to remind me of the incident is known to me and is undergoing treatment at some place and is sure to come back to health shortly.Let all of us pray for speedy recovery to come back to kolkata at the earliest only to be readmitted to any nursing home with some multiple bone fractures to square up the professional fees.

ANAGRAMS

Here is a list of word pairs, called ANAGRAMS. The interesting part is they are formed by the same set of alphabets but convey a mutually contradictory or sometimes complementary meaning. Here are a dozen of them.

1. Teach             Cheat

Some BABAs teach, some cheat and remaining BABAS teach to .....

.

2. Listen.            Silent

Be silent and listen.

3. Admirer.         Married

Status before and after marriage.

4.Fast.                Fats

Either fast or add fats as you feast.

5. Marital.            Martial

A misplaced 'I' turns marital relationship into martial one.

6. Creative.          Reactive

You can never be creative if you are reactive.

7. Sweat.              Waste

If you dont sweat as a youth you will waste your entire life, so sweat or waste.

8. Bedroom.         Boredom

Always keep boredom out of your bedroom because that is the place where you spent half of your life and mostly in your own company.

9. Vote.                  Veto

One veto and a million votes undone.

10. Exist.                 Exits

We exist between our entries and exits.

11. Stain.                 Saint

Hard to find a saint without a stain.

12. Split.                 Spilt
Spilt to avoid being spilt

THE WISDOM

Madam Bhattacharya   is with with her Boss Mr.B.R.Sankar.

Madam Bhattacharya: "sir, any tips you can give me to enjoy authority  powerwithout doing anything, the way you have been for so long?"

"Well," said her boss Mr.Sankar, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Madam Bhattacharya frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are intelligent? "

Mr.Shankar: "Easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."

Mr.Sankar pushed a button on her intercom. " Mr.Monda , would you come in here, please?"

Mr.Monda walked into the room and said, "Yes,sir?"

Mr.Shankar smiled and said, "Answer me this please, Monda. Your mother and father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, Monda  answered, "That would be me, Sir."

"Very good! Thank you, Monda!" said the boss.

Then he  turned to Madam Bhattacharya  with a smile and said "See?"And Monda is the junior most officer in our department.

Now its Madam Bhattacharya's turn to apply the same logic....

Madam Bhattacharya back to her place and asked  Mr Atish.

"Atish da , answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," said Atish. "Let me get back to my chamber  on that one..." and I will let you the answee

ARISH  discussed the issue with his friends and asked every one, but none could give him an answer...

Finally, he ran into his boss Mr jagdish Bal

and asked, "sir, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"..

Mr Jagdish Bal  answered, "That's easy, it's me!"..

Atish  said, "Thanks!"

Then he went back to Madam Bhattacharya "I did some thinking and I have the answer to that riddle. It's  my boss MrJagdish Bal.

Madam Bhattacharya brcame red with rages

and shouted..

"No ! You dumb fool ! It's  Mr.Monda Assistant to Mr.B.R.Sankar !"

THE OLD MAN AND THE FISHING ROD

There has been drizzling since morning.The pot hole on the road in front of a pub was full of water to its brim and an old man completely drenched in the rain was in a siting posture by bending his knees patiently in front of the pot hole with a fishing rod apparently in a bid to catch fish.
One more gentle man while crossing the road saw him sitting and felt sympathy for him. He  invited him for a couple of drinks to boost his energy.
Amid the warmth  atmosphere of the pub while both of them toasted cheers with the  glass of whisky,the gentle man while sipping the elixir slowly  by enjoying the   taste on the tip of his toungue,asked the old man "how many stuff you have caught sofar since morning"
The old man replied "No...not much.You are the 7 th catch"

One day at school

Teacher: Sujith, answer me. What do you wanna be when you grow up.

Sujith: Teacher, I wish to become a very rich man. My business should be in all major cities. I should buy a big bungalow. I will always travel by air. Wherever I go into should stay in 5 star hotels. There should be minimum 10 servants to take care of my needs. I should own the costliest car. I should have the costliest diamond.

Teacher: Stop Sujith. Students, henceforth you should not give such lengthy answer. Please reply in a sentence. Ok.

Now you tell me Mallua. What do you want to be?

Mallua:-Sujith's wife ....

🤑🤑🤑

Fine snd Tax

In a class of Taxation, the professor  asked Vishwanath:-- Do you know what does Fine stand for?
Vishwanath:- Yes sir.It is a tax for doing the wrong thing.
Professor:--Then Tax?
Vishwanath:---- It is a fine for doing the right thing.
The professor has been in a lunatic asylum for the last 5 years and still there is no sign of slightest improvemrnt.

PARAPROSDOKIANS

First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them).

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor."

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

ARGUMENT

There has been a tremendous argument between a donkey and a fox over the colour of grass.The donkey said it's yellow while  the fox insisted it to be green.Having failed to convince each other, the matter was placed before the king of animals The Lion for arbitration. The lion on hearing both the sides sentenced the fox to one year rigourous imprisonment.The fox just asked the lion is it just trial ? The lion replied the colour of the grass is definitely green but your action warrants deterrent punishment in as much as you have involved yourself in argument with a donkey causing serious loss of man power and avoidable Expenditure

®®® Presently we have been engaging ourselves with unnecessary arguments with such human being who will never accept himself to be wrong even if all the evidences are produced against his opinion.It is criminal negligence to argue with them

BIG ZERO

OH THE GREAT TEACHER,I COULD NOT LEARN MATHEMATICS FROM YOU. ALL THE DIGITS HAVE BEEN EVAPORATED ONE BY ONE LEAVING  A BIG ZERO FOR ME.

.

Marketing terminology

MARKETING TERMINOLOGY EXPLAINED IN LUCID LANGUAGE.

1)you see a gorgeous girl in a party,you go to her  and say i am smart ,rich and educated.Please marry me.This is Direct marketing.
2)you see a gorgeous girl in a party with an apparent unsmart
boy  friend and you go to her and say donot you think I am better than your present boy friend!This is called in direct marketing.
3)you attend a party and your friend goes to a girl and pointing at you tells her he is very rich and educated ,marry him.This is called Advertising.
4)The girl walks to you and says I know you are rich and educated, can you marry me.This is called Brand recognition
5)you say I am rich and educated and the girl cooly introduces you to her husband.This is called Mismatch in  supply and demand or demand and supply gap
6)Before you say I am rich and educated marry me ,your wife arrives at the scene.This is cslled
Restrictions from entering the new market.
7)You introduce yourself and the girl listens to you carefully with all interest and says ILU.Donot be elated this is a sophisticated way of saying no.i t does not mean I love you but means I !eave you.This is cslled communication gap in marketing
8)You say confidently that I am rich and educated ,marry me and she slaps you tight.zThat is Called customer feed back

The author of this write up was a very very successful  principal Marketing officer of a Nationalised bank and gave shape to the marketing strategies of the zone that brought many laurels for the bank with the help of other young and energetic marketing officers.The entire write up is based on practical experience only.

THE JUDGEMENT SEAT OF BIKRAMADITYA

THE GREAT SAGE SWAMI VIVEKANAND SAID EDUCATION DOES NOT MEAN THE  AMOUNT OF INFORMATION THAT IS BEING PUT IN TO YOUR BRAIN AND RUNS RIOT  THERE UNDIGESTED ALL YOUR  LIFE.IT MEANS,INTERALIA,CHARACTER BUILDING. BUT WHAT DOES CHARACTER BUILDING MEAN.YOU SHOULD BE HONEST YOUR SELF AND ALLOW OTHERS TO DO TO WRONG FOR MAKING YOUR FUTURE?.YOU MAY  LOVE YOUR PARENTS TOO MUCH BUT DOES IT MEAN OTHERS DONT LOVE THEM.IF YOU LOVE YOUR PARENTS ,WHO HAS TOLD YOU TO DISOBEY THEIR LAST WISHES. HOW CAN  YOU DEFY THE REAL LOVE OF SOME ONE WHO TOOK CARE OF THEM IN YOUR ABSENCE.WHAT AUTHORITY YOU HAVE TO DEPRIVE ONE  BUT TO BENIFIT OTHERS .IS IT BECAUSE THAT THEY KRPT YOU IN GOOD HUMOUR.IAM NOT BOTHERED ABOUT OTHERS WHO ARE GUIDED BY DIFFERENT  MOTIVES BUT YOU TOO TURNED A NELSON'S EYE TO DEPRIVE ONE. WHAT WRONG HAS HE DONE .
DO YOU STILL BELIEVE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DISPLAY THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF SWAMI VIVEKANAND AND RAMKRISHNA? WHAT HAS PROMPTED A GOD  LIKE PERSON LKE YOU.TO DEPRIVE ONE TO THE UNDUE BENIFIT OF OTHERS. DONT YOU HAVE THE SENSATION OF COCKROACHES IN YOUR HEART AT ANY POINT OF TIME !
YOU DONT BELIEVE IN THE GREAT SAYING THAT THE SINNER IS EQUALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ONE WHO TOLERATES AND ABATES THE CRIME OF THE OTHERS . EVERY BODY CAN BE CHARITABLE  WITH OYHER'S MONEY BUT WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO REPLY! PLEASE BE DONOR OR CHARITABLE IN SUBSTANCE AND NOT IN FORMS.PLEASE DONT  ALLOW YOUR ACTIONS LARGER THAN WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND PREACH.THE BLOOD SOME TIMES SPEAK WRONG BUT BY APPLICATION OF COCKROACH THEORY ONE CAN FIND THE ROOT CAUSE AND NOT TO ACT UPON APPARENT SYMPTOMS.

BITTER TRUTH

If Columbus wold have been married to a Bengali lady, he would not have been successful to discover  America. Because his wife wold invariably have shot the following volley of questions:-
Where are you going?
With whom you are going?
How are you going?
What are you going to discover?
When do you come back?
How long will it take and why?
Can you not discover it here?
What will happen if you don't discover?
Why are you always interested to discover?
No other person is there to drive the wild buffaloes by taking meal from his own house?
What shall I do here alone?
Will you have lot of friends with you No?
And there will be a fountain of alcohol to be gulped by all of you No?
OK come back home I will teach you a good lesson!
Colombus:- Leave it I AM NOT GOING😁😂😀

TO BLOW HOT AND COLD IN THE SAME BREATH

Sir Winston Churchill was once asked about his position on whisky.
Here's how cleverly he answered :-
"If you mean whisky, the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody
monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home,
creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths
of little children;
If you mean that evil drink that topples men and women from the pinnacles
of righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation,
shame, despair, helplessness and hopelessness, then, my friend, I am
opposed to it with every fibre of my being."

"However, if by whisky you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic
wine, the elixir of life, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get
together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm glow of contentment
in their eyes;
If you mean good cheer, the stimulating sip that puts a little spring in
the step of an elderly gentleman on a frosty morning;
If you mean that drink that enables man to magnify his joy, and to forget
life's great tragedies and heartbreaks and sorrow;
If you mean that drink the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold
millions of pounds each year, that provides tender care for our little
crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitifully aged and
infirm, to build the finest highways, hospitals, universities, and
community colleges in this nation...
Then my friend, I am absolutely, unequivocally in favour of it..!!!
"This is my position, and as always, I refuse to compromise on matters of
principles".
😊

MANAGENENT LESSON

Doctor :
Your Liver is enlarged

Patient :
Does that mean it has space for more whisky ?

This is called...
- Positive Thinking..
😄😄😄

Lady to her dietician :- What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.

Doc :- How come???

Lady :- According to my weight, my height should be 7.8 feet... 😜

Now this is called positive attitude.. 👍👍

Self Confidence at its Peak👉

A Man wrote to SBI (India's largest lender)

"My Cheque was returned with remark 'Insufficient funds'. I want to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank".
😂

THE GENERATION GAP

THE FALLACY OF BIRTH OF LORD SRI KRISHNA
The professor was narrating the trials,tribunals sorrows and sufferings of Lord Krishna in his ancient history class.He narrated that kangsha was given to understand that he would be killed at the hands of the 8th son of Devaki and Badudev and he put both of them in jail custody under his strict surveillance.The professor expressed the sufferings of Devaki and Badudev in a dramatic manner with various connotation and annotation with modulation of his voice to keep a permanent stamp in the hearts of the students. The first son was born and he was killed by poison.The second son was born and immediately he was cut into two pieces and so on.Meanehile a student raised his hand in a bid to ask something. The professor stopped for a while,wiped out the sweat from his forehead and asked him yes what is your question?
The student asked the professor calmly when it was known to Kangsha that he would be killed by the 8th  son yet to be born out of the wedlock of Devaki and Badudev why were
both of them kept together in the prison by kangsha?
The professor got fainted.
THIS IS CALLED GENERATION GAP

DARE TO DREAM BEYOND IIM

DARE TO DREAM BEYOND IIM.THEN LEARN MANAGEMENT IN A DIFFERENT MANNER:--
Gabbar Singh was a *MANAGEMENT GURU* as is reflected in some of the timeless management lessons he delivered thru the movie *Sholay.*

Read On...They are awesome..!👌

1. *Jo Darr Gaya - Samjho Mar Gaya!*
Courage and enterprise are important factors for laying the successful foundation of a growth oriented business.In case of success take the full credit and failure pass it on to your junior without any hesitation.
👍😃👍

2. *Kitne Admi The..??*
It's important to know the competition and its size. He understood that even a small team can make a difference.
👍😃👍

3. *Arey O Sambha, Kitna Inaam Rakhe Hai Sarkar Hum Par?*
Know your market value. Promoting one's own brand is very important and to be reiterated always . Always beat your own and boss drums or else your drum will be used as spitoons.
👍😃👍

4.  *Goli 6 Aur Aadmi 3!*
Create an Impression that sufficient infrastructure has been provided with less manpower and keep the rmploees under tension to perform or perish while you the seniors relax and productivity will be increased to your credit only
👍😃👍

5. *Le Ab Goli Kha*
Sometimes in the interest of the organisation you have to take hard and unpopular decisions....
So sometimes a leader has to 'fire' some employees.
👍😃👍

6. *Yeh Ramgarh Waale Apni Betiyon Ko Kaunsi Chakki Ka Aata Khilate Hai Re.*
Market research is important to understand value propositions !!
👍😃👍

7. *Yeh Haath Mujhey Dedey Thakur.*
Identify elements of threats in the market and take measures to minimise them.
👍😃👍

8. *Holi Kab Hai, Kab Hai Holi ?*
Conduct advance mapping of key events within the industry and devise penetration strategy to have a competitive edge over your rivals.😜😂🙏😜😂
Be a successful Regional /Zonal manager and so on

SELLING TOMATOES

A jobless man applied for the job  of "sweeper" at Microsoft.

The HR interviewed him..

Then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

"You are Appointed" he said.

"Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the forms to fill in".

The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."

"I'm sorry", said the HR manager...

"If you don't have an email, that means u do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."

The man left with no hope at all.

He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket.

He then decided to go to the supermarket & buy a 10Kg tomato crate.

He then sold the tomatoes in a Door to Door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital.

He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.

The man realised that he can survive this way, and started to go everyday earlier and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles. 5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US .

He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life Insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.

When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email."

The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!"

The man thought for a while and replied,
"Yes, I'd be a sweeper at Microsoft!"

Moral of the story:

1) Internet/email/bbm/whatsapp is not the solution to your life.

2) If you don't have facebook a/c., internet/email/bbm/whatsapp , and work hard, you can be a millionaire by selling tomatoes or even can go faster than plane by riding a snail.
3)Thy name of kapal is Gopal.Luck favours the luckiest.
4)Always take the opportunity of the good willingness of others and grab every thing oblivious of interest of others shamelessly and be away to Internet what's app phone etc to avoid disturbing questions😁😂😃

Must read
P.S. -Please  don't disturb me now as
I'm busy selling Tomatoes

🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

THE AMAZING WAY OF REPAYMENT OF DEBT

During the period I was posted as head of the Zonal vigilance cell Kolkata,I had the experience of getting the taste of this noble way, never thought of or even dreamt of me ever.Let me first clarify that the expectations of those waiting eagerly for a blood spinning thriller will be belied as it is not a story of fraud forgery or thriller but simply an eye opener to show how easily a man can be hoodwinked.Infact it  may be treated as a confession as how big a fool I am.
Dharani was our sub staff.A young man of 30 to 35 years of age extremely obedient loyal and disciplined.He kept his family at his native place Bankura a district town about 200 kms away from Kolkata.on every Saturday he used to go to his native place only to come on Monday.He had applied for his transfer to Bankura and requested me to follow up.I did my level best only to bear fruit at a later date but not immediately.
Meanwhile on one Monday he approached me very politely for an amount of Rs 100/only with an assurance that the same would be repaid to me within next four days.i gave him that money and he too repaid it on the next Thursday.Again on Monday he borrowed rs100/ from me and paid on Thursday.This process was repeated four or five times. Inquisitively I asked him as why he was doing like that and I even proposed to extend the repayment period say by 2months so that he could tide over his crisis.He flatly refused saying sir one must keep his commitment come what may.I may borrow money but to prove my intention I must pay it on the appointed day without any fail.He even thanked me for my indulgence and proposal to extend the repayment period saying,inter alia,extended repayment period was not feasible in view of the fact he might forget his commitment due to absence of his mental pressure unlike repayment in short time.Hence he preferred short time repayment only to borrow further  if need be.
This was going on well and meanwhile his transfer order to a branch nearer to his village came.on the date of relieving after completion of all formalities, he came to my chamber and said sir today is Tuesday.And I was supposed to pay you on Thursday .How could I pay you two days before and hence I  was making one arrangement.He then called the lady stenographer of our department and asked her Didi(madam)Every Thursday you pay sir rs100/ and sir every Monday you pay Didi Rs 100/.Now this becomes your matter only and I donot want to be a party to it.Both of us went speechless and motionless for few minutes
I could understand that the original amount borrowed from me on one Monday was spent by him and he borrowed rs100/from madam on Thursday to repay me and again on Monday from me to repay her on Thursday and the chain was repeated.Needless to mention Madam did not pay the amount on Thursday and I was the sufferer.A nice method of ever greening indeed.