MASTERPIECE

Following a bitter  quarrel between Rajesh and his wife ,Rajesh consumed poison to commit suicide.
But he did not die but became very sick necessitating his wife to look after him on a continual basis.
Wife:-I tell you fool but you  never agreed.I always tell you to be careful while purchasing anything from the market to find whether it is genuine or not.
Now you purchased those medicines ;neither did it work but the money was wasted for nothing!

To rob Peter and pat Paul

Begger:-Babu you had been giving me Rs10/-per day but for the last few days you are paying me only Re 1/-. Why so.
Babu:-Arreh at that time I was bachelor.Now that I am married since the last seven days.
Begger:-You Rascal ;you are maintaining your wife on my money? Are you not ashamed of doing so!
Babu fainted ....😂

Simple question and simple answer

TEACHER:-TELL ME THE NAME OF 4 AMPHIBIANS

STUDENT:-FROG
TEACHER:-AND THE REST THREE
STUDENT:-FROG"S FATHER,FROG'S MOTHER AND FROG'S GIRL FRIEND SIR.😂

Truth is stranger than fiction

Two big liars and a person who speaks truth only being friends were talking to one another.
The first friend said"Do you know my elder brother could run even faster than an arrow.He used to start to  run the moment the arrow was released from the bow.He always reached the destination even much before the arrow could hit the target"
The second friend said "Ha  ha  heard lot of your elder brother.Better do not talk shits anymore.just think of my elder brother whose speed was even higher than that of a bullet"
The third friend quipped "All rubbish.My elder brother was a government emloyer having an office hour from 10am till 5 pm but he always used to come back latest 3pm.Now tell me who is fastest?"😂😂😂

Legal ramifications

Interesting- This Can Happen Only In USA

These incidents took place in North Carolina, USA.

A lawyer purchased a box of rare and expensive cigars, then  insured them against, among other things, loss due to FIRE.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great   cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of Small Fires.'

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that   the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued and WON! 

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that   the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer  held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the  cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable  'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss  of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'.

NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

After the lawyer cashed the cheque, the insurance company had him  arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!

With his own insurance claim and  testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was  convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was  sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award  contest in USA.

MAMA (METARNAL UNCLE)

MAMA(MATERNAL UNCLE)
Let me share with a real story.My elderbrother was a student of Bidhan chandra Agriculture university and was a very brilliant student. His name was A.S.Bhattacharya.
One day he along with his friends Amrit da  and Dilu da came to the house and sought permission from my parents to take my 2nd brother and me  to the university to attend to the annual general function where Manna Dey,inter alia, would be coming to perform overnight.yes that was ever the spectacular function I had ever attended.Next day it came to an end at about 3 am in the morning and we were allowed to slip in the beds of my elder brother and Amrit Dab perhaps at Dharma put hostel. In any case by 7 am we had to be ready for going back to Howrah station from Kalyani.Lot of young men  was there in the Howrah  bound train.
At kanchrapara station(again I can not recollect the name ) the TT  boarded the train and immediately there was a hilarious shout to the effect "Hey mama(meternal uncle) has coooomeeee "The TT  was a tall fellow with a sound physique and solemn personality never asked for the tickets of those boys but was asking for tickets by pick and choose.ultimately he came to us and demanded tickets which were shown duly by Amrit Da.In the process he asked for one ticket of one young man sitting beside us. In response he simply shouted Mamaaa with a naughty smile on his lips  and there was a wave of laughter in the entire compartment The TT  did not ask for the ticket and went other side.
After about 5 minutes or so he came back to the young man who shouted Mamaaa  and asked him vereey politely" my dear though you called me mana yet I could not recognise you.see I don't have any sister of my own.yes I have two cousin sisters one of whom was married to a pakistani national  zia by name  which was a love marriage and the other I am really sorry to say has become a prifessional call girl in Bombay.So please tell me to which sister you belong to?"
There was pin drop silence in the compartment.

Things to do

*Beautiful   Message*!!

💬   If    You    Are    Right    Then     There    is     No    Need    to    Get    Angry ...

💬   And    If    You    Are    Wrong    Then    You     Don't     Have    Any    Right    to    Get    Angry.

💬   Patience    With    Family    is   Love .....

💬   Patience    With    Others    is   Respect.

💬   Patience     With     Self     is   Confidence   And   Patience   With   GOD   is   Faith.

💬   Never    Think    Hard    About    The    PAST ,    It    Brings    Tears...

💬   Don't    Think    More    About   The   FUTURE ,   It   Brings   Fear...

💬  Live   This   Moment   With   A   Smile ,  It    Brings   Cheer.

💬  Every     Test     in    Our    Life   Makes   Us   Bitter   Or   Better .....

💬   Every   Problem   Comes   To   Make   Us   Or   Break   Us  !

💬   The      Choice     is       Ours   Whether   We   Become   Victims   Or   Victorious.

💬   Beautiful   Things    Are    Not   Always   Good   But   Good  Things   Are   Always   Beautiful ......

💬   Do   You   Know    Why    God  Created   Gaps  between  Fingers ?  So     That     Someone ,    Who    is     Special    To    You ,   Comes    And   Fills   Those    Gaps ,   By   Holding   Your   Hand   Forever.

💬   " Happiness "   Keeps   You ....  Sweet   But   Being   Sweet   Brings   Happiness.

○Don't expect but accept notwithstanding it may bleed you