An ideal and imaginary interview scene

During  departmental promotion  time:-
An ideal but imaginary interview scene

😡  chairman of the board: There are 50 bricks on an aeroplane. If u drop 1 outside. How  many are left?

Employee : That's easy, 49.

First board member : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge

same board member: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.
The second board member  : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, who and why?

Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.

The first board member: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?

Employee : She   crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday
Chairman: Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?

Employee : Er....I guess she drowned....err...

Chairman: No! She was hit by the brick fallen frm the aeroplane. Thats the problem, you are not focused on your job....You may leave now!!!

Moral: If the management  has decided to screw u, no matter How much u prepare u will be screwed
😜😁😂😝 So don't worry about your review.. Just enjoy ur work😃 and enjoy life....
(Collected and modified to make it relevant for the ensuing promotion process)

SELFIE

"Me with you till the last as promised"
A young boy was in deep love with a girl.The girl too loved him limitlessly
One day that young man while going to the office with his motor bike met with a fatal road accident and expired on the spot.
After completion of all rituals and formalities,his dead body was taken to the cremation ground while that girl and other close relatives followed him crying relentlessly.Every body was grief stricken.
The electric furnace of that cremation ground was out of order and hence there was no other way but to cremate him in the conventional way with woods only.So the bed was prepared with the help of wood logs and then placed the dead body over the heaps of logs.just at that time,the girl jumped all on a sudden on to the bed of logs and lay beside her boy friend.Everybody was taken by surprise but appreciated the true love.just at this time,the girl brought out her mobile and by placing her head at 60°angel took a selfie and uploaded in the face book with a comment Me and my ex boy friend at the cremation ground.feeling sad with purohit(priest)and 14 others under the caption" Me with you till the last"

Balad mera bap hai

Shiv Satya Chakroborty was the brother of sibram Chakroborty -the famous Bengali   writer who was writing humours stories mainly for the children as well as to criticize the prevailing  superstitions of the society. .shiv was the English teacher of a school in ghatshila.
One day sibram visited his house and found his brother sitting in  Very morosed and depressed condition with heap of examination papers in front of him.
Sibram asked him the reason and shiv told him to go through the answersheet.
Sibram found to his dismay that against the question of writing an essay on cow,  all most everybody wrote something funny with the drawing of a cow.The first one wrote  "gai hamara mata hai English nehi ata ha"i beneath the drawing of a cow.
The second one wrote  "Gai hamara  Mai re  English nehi aai re" in the same fashion as that of the 1st one. 
The third wrote "  Gai hamara mata gi English nehi ata ji" and a drawing of a cow.
All most papers were answered in that fashion only.
Sibsattya asked as to what should he do now?
Sibram replied " what to do! Mark it as wrong with a Big Bang
cut mark X and give 0."
Sibsattya " what did you say dada? " "I shall cut the cows! Then they would behead me."
Sibram thought for a while and then  advised him not to cut but go give a big zero with a comment  "Balad(ox) mera bap hai number Dena pap hai"
The story is still relevant in the present context

Rajnikant The miracle man

PENULTIMATE SURPRISE OF 2017.
Politics have ultimately decided to join RAJNIKANT

The outstanding

1.One lady desired to race with time...The result ,the time is still running.
2.The same lady participated  in 2000 km race and she came first.But Einstein had a severe heart attack causing his death because the light came second.
3.when that lady was a student ,the teachers used to bunk the classes.
4.vidyasgar studied in street light.Galileo used lamp to study but she used to study in the light of Agarbatti.
5.The calender of that lady goes straight to 2nd April from 31st March so that no body can make her fool.
Are you now interested to know the name of that Lady?Nah baba I can not take a risk lest she said Enna Rascala who told you to publicise my name before I publish my autobiography and may punish me by saying "statue" and I would become the statue of Sins like statue of liberty.😈😈😈😈