Down memory lane

December 30th 1976 the journey that started from Kolkata is coming to a halt on 30th January 2016 at Bengaluru station. Please allow me to go back three or four days.Having graduated from one of the prestigious college with a very satisfactory rankings at the age 19+,I was pursuing some professional courses.Meanwhile I appeared for P.O examination in various nationalised banks. And no communication till 27th December 1976.My 2nd elder brother one day !.e.23 rd December 1976 took me to one of his  amateur astrologer cum friend who predicted that  I be employed and to leave west Bengal by that year 1976.That was the first and last prediction that came true in my life.On 27 December I got a telegram to the effect that I was selected as a probationary officer with union bank of India and was asked to report for duty at our Guwahati(Assam) Development office by 30 th of December.
On 28th December I had been to my college to seek blessings from our prefect  father Joris.while I touched his feet to seek his blessings ,he drew me to his chest and recited in his bary tone voice"My son the woods are lovely dark and deep you will have to go a miles and miles away  before you could sleep" you are no more in this world but you must have seen from up that I have kept your promise to walk miles and miles  without any self interest but for the benefit of bank ,my colleagues and others.Your last sentence "go and kiss the sky" was misconstrued by me in  literal sense and my repeated but feeble effort to kiss was a big and big miss 😁😂always till I  realised that you wanted me to travel extensively. Father during my entire service career I have had the opportunity to travel east west north and south.
I am proud to say that during this long journey ,I was never derailed either by memorandum or charge sheet despite the fact I was all along an aggressive bank officer.Father your advice that if you work transparently and without any ulterior motive,nothing bad can touch you. you were correct. However my journey has been delayed quite often courtesy my close friends.
But I was not demoralised as suffering for a good cause is no less a reward for me. On the EVE of my retirement  I have forgiven all those friends not because of the fact they deserve forgiveness but because I need peace.Yes it includes the said special friend who tried to damage my reputation  very recently I only want him to remember the days not so very far when his very close relative was injured severely on a road accident and it was  I who spent couple of sleepless nights for him  and arranged every thing from hospitalisation to operation and follow up treatment all in your absence.And number of your so called Well wishers  never spent even a single moment.I never expect gratitude but remain ever grateful to others.
Last but not least I would like to put in record that I am indeed grateful to all my colleagues and my beloved bank without whom I could not become what I am to day.on 30th Jan 2016 my journey will be terminated at Bengaluru  and I will take leave of you.I beg to be excused if I have(generally this is not my habit) misbehaved with or hurt any body in any manner.
Time Marches on but memories stays .
Torturing  us Silently the rest of our days.Let my memories be my fixed deposit to bank upon my residual days .ADIEU AMIGO  ADIEU  MY FRIENDS.The road we have travelled has come to an end.All my good wishes.

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

My wife asked me today to bring some dog biscuits for her  some pet street dogs from a nearby shop.The shop owner is known to us as we often frequent the shop for our daily needs.I went and asked him for some dog biscuits.The shop owner smiled wide enough to touch the respective tips of his years and said it was ready as per istruction of MADAM (MY better half).Then he politely asked me "sir, Are you going to eat the biscuits here or shall I pack it for you?" Concluded.

THE PREDICTION

             
The astrologer predicted that the new born male child would have lot of ups and downs throughout his life.The child on attaining majority was appointed as a lift man of a multi storied building. CONCLUDED

Pseudo psychologist

Some say in order to hide the tears  one should  walk through the rains.
The above is the statement of coward as one should be transparent always. Does it mean one  should always pee while swimming!   Chat Pusha Great philosopher

INTRIGUING

CAN WE CHANGE OUR ATTITUDE SO QUICK!
ARE WE BY CHARACTER SO  INSOLVENT AND UTTERLY
WEAK!
OH! DEATH CAN YOU AFFORD TO
WAIT  A BIT!
I WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH BEFORE THE END AND LAST OF IT!
                              Kumar De falsuem

What is affection!

Once in the wee hours of winter season,I asked the fog clad sun if he could define affection!He said yes it is the dew drop on the tip of a grass being flashed like  pearls due to reflection and refraction  of my rays.

Rules of multiplication

One of my best friends came to my house to day and lectured me fully 2 hours regarding the art of living happily after retirement while galloping 4 cups of tea and equal number of cigarettes.I got bored and told him flatly about that and he  left my house angrily.But I was relieved to a great extent from this drab discussion.
I discussed the same thing with some of my cute and smart young friends in an allegorical manner to state that I got the ALLADIN'S LAMP from the sea waves(may be from the sea of digha or vizag).All of them could not follow it properly and wanted to know circustically  what are you going to ask for me!
Actually I prayed 10 times increase of their brains but god says immediately you ask for something as multiplication does not work on Zero.
It includes me as I still expect  and chase like a DONKEY 😂😃😄

Luck matters supreme

Love means never having to say sorry.

To day I was invited by one of my very close friends to have dinner with them on the occasion of their 27th marriage anniversary at Peter Cat restaurant.
Accordingly I was present at the right place and right time and met them. After exchanging gift and pleasantries,my friend ordered for the dinner with lot of mouth watering items. As the food was served ,my friend says the food looks delicious, let's start Immediately. His wife remarked very sweetly honey ...you always say prayer before eating at home.
Unoblivious of the situation, my friend replied  that's at home .....here the chef knows how to cook!
Then started exchanging plates spoons forks and all to each other and I had to leave the restaurant red faced. This is the second day I am without food. No body can defy the luck

THE RESIGNATION OF THE MAID

My wife has been in her father's house since long.I have requested my house maid to cook something for me every day but less spicy as I have been suffering from gastrointestinal disease.
How ever I devolved a great taste for sambar and Rasen because of my long stay in South. Both the items are less spicy and go well with digestion.But I make it a point to prepare it my self and purchased lot of packets of sambar and Rasam powder before shifting to kolkata
To day the maid asked me uncle what should I prepare for you sambar or Rasam?
Knowing her horrible cooking ability,it just slipped from my tongue you prepare it first and then I will name it.
She left her job today without assigning any reasons.

Substraction

Teacher: 5 - 5 = how much?
Sudent is quiet…..
Teacher tries again: agar tere paas 5 idli hai  aur main tere 5 idli le lu, tere paas kya bachega?

Student: sambar aur chutney....😃

Another gem from IIN

MARRIAGE FOR SURE

A gentleman dialled the number of Marriage for Sure call centre.He was greeted by a mechanical female voice stating"welcome to Marriage for sure call centre.press 1 for self marriage . press 2 for daughter's  marriage.press 3 for son's marriage.........press 9 to get expert opinion from our Marriage specialist sri Samik santra."The gentleman pressed 9 and Sri Samik Santra came on the line immediately.The gentleman asked him what should I press for  second marriage?.Expert opinion by sri samik Santra instantaneously "press the neck of your existing wife and hold on till death"😈😇😆

A little learning is dangerous

Wife joins English  Speaking Class from IIN...

After a few Days...

Wife: Welcome Home 🏠 Darling...

Husband: I Am So Tired 😫 Today...

Wife: OK, Rest In Peace...

😂😂😋😂😂

ALL. ILLUSIONS

There has been war like situation in Bamacharan Vidyapith(school) today A hidden and unspoken tension reigns the atmosphere.

Everything in the school has been arranged neatly and kept in proper place .The entire compound has-been cleaned and disinfected with lime and bleaching powder and the flower tubs have been arranged in a row on either sides from the school gate to the main building. Every thing is spick and span in one sense. The Inspector of the school is coming from the district town for inspection. Hence every body is alert and attentive.
He arrives. Short in height, fat,  solemn and grim by face .Eyes are just like search lights rotating quickly on all sides to inspect every nook and corner of the compound building and class rooms with a critical view. Having completed the infrastructure inspection ,he proceedes to one class room of class VII. All the students  stand up and greets  him by saying good morning sir.He signals  them to sit and thereafter askes one student can you tell me the name of our prime minister! The student smartly answers  Birinchi Babu sir. The  Inspector becomes very angry and askes him how could you get your promotion in  class VII! Do you know I can strike out your name from the register of the school?The  student says no you can not because my name is not there at all.I am  a shepherd and today while I
Was busy in tending my cows on the back yard of the school,The class teacher gave me RS.10/= and asked me to sit in the class.So I am sitting here.
Being very much  angry he looks at the face of the class teacher and comments "Are you  making jokes with me by presenting fake students in the class?" Do you know I can dismiss you for this gross misconduct? The teacher calmly says  whom are you making afraid of!I am not the class teacher at all The original teacher is a grocer who has a shop just by the  side side of school.Today he has gone to the district town to purchase groceries for his shop and asks  me to act in his place.
Now the Inspector gets mad to loose  his balance and enters the room of the Head Master  and asks him at the highest pitch of his voice to say,are you not ashamed of doing all these gross irregularities like fake student, fake teacher .And you even expect to get  financial aids from the government! Do you know I can suspend the registration of the school! I demand explanation from you !
The Head Master has brought out a packet of 500 rupee note  and keeps on his table.
Then he humbly asks since when I have become the Head Master! The head master is my uncle a big political leader who has gone today to attend one election meeting sir.He of course told me incase an idiot Inspector comes, just throw this packet on his face  and show him the way out .The Inspector smiles a wide smile ,keeps the packet in his pocket  and informs them that you  all are really lucky indeed! In case my maternal uncle would not have to visit  Howrah  to day in connection with his side business of cold storage ,All of you would have been dismissed.

Mosquito vs Helicopter

Perhaps it was in the year of 1978 or early part of 1979,I was posted as Branch Manager  of our Pathshala Branch in Assam.And I was very young and hardly any experience to become branch head but our development manager assured me that the bm's chair would teach me the job.The branch manager's residence was on the first floor of the branch premise.Since I was bachelor I used to take lunch and dinner from one of the local resident against very notional payment.But for my morning tea and breakfast,I had to go to a nearby sweet meat shop RAJHSNS by name.The shop was run by an ever smiling local person with a tremendous sense of wit and humour. The shop  was famous for its excellent  quality of tea and morning samosa.Thr cost of one glass of tea was 25 paisa  at that time and even then it was considered to be high by the current market price.I used to take two glasses of tea every day.
One day tea was served to me and just before sipping the tea,I heard a noise and found one person was shouting to that shop owner pointing out to a dead mosquito floating on his glass of tea.He was very agitated but the shop owner took the glass from him coolly  and replied him in Assamese which can roughly be translated as"Hey Mr.Against payment of 25 pause only, what do you expect !A helicopter or a mosquito  in your tea glass!"  The customer was speechless and me felt a sensation of butterfly in my stomach being rolled out as riot of laughter!

Perhaps it was in the year of 1978 or early part of 1979,I was posted as Branch Manager  of our Pathshala Branch in Assam.And I was very young and hardly any experience to become branch head but our development manager assured me that the bm's chair would teach me the job.The branch manager's residence was on the first floor of the branch premise.Since I was bachelor I used to take lunch and dinner from one of the local resident against very notional payment.But for my morning tea and breakfast,I had to go to a nearby sweet meat shop RAJHSNS by name.The shop was run by an ever smiling local person with a tremendous sense of wit and humour. The shop  was famous for its excellent  quality of tea and morning samosa.Thr cost of one glass of tea was 25 paisa  at that time and even then it was considered to be high by the current market price.I used to take two glasses of tea every day.
One day tea was served to me and just before sipping the tea,I heard a noise and found one person was shouting to that shop owner pointing out to a dead mosquito floating on his glass of tea.He was very agitated but the shop owner took the glass from him coolly  and replied him in Assamese which can roughly be translated as"Hey Mr.Against payment of 25 pause only, what do you expect !A helicopter or a mosquito  in your tea glass!"  The customer was speechless and me felt a sensation of butterfly in my stomach being rolled out as riot of laughter!

Man proposes

Man proposes but Dietician disposes
All those who are closely known to me know that I was  a great foodie.previously I could consume quality of food in good quantity.During the last one month or so ,I started experiencing severe pain in the abdomen.To cut the story short I was advised to take the help of a dietician apart from medicine because of detection of ulcers(?)
The dietician is a keralian lady who advised me to take mostly boiled foods and one curry with little spices.Even the quantity has been restricted to 1/5th of what I used to have. Yesterday I had the experience of tasting some awesome kerala food cooked in coconut oil.she read the post and now telephoned  me seeking explanation. To make the matter light ,I requested her to invite me for a lunch and she readily agreed.Having been emboldened by her instant approval ,I asked her the menu which she what's apped to me as follows :__
Kerala sadhya (bitter gourd boiled)
God never helps those who need help

The tradition still goes on

inconstancies. The Tradition still goes on!

Have you ever noticed that how circulars are interpreted differently in different places!Though it is clearly understood that circulars are to be followed not only by words but by its spirit too but  that becomes the greatest gray area giving the maximum leverage   to the authority that might be to interpret to his whims and fancies detrimental to the interest of the applicant and belying the spirit of the circular in its right earnest.This is mostly done in respect of interpretation of circulars relating to  employee benefits matters. Number of such inconsistent instances are there but it is not my intention to expose them to drive my point what I want to say that these inconsistent decisions are not the product of modernisation but  favourable decision to favourite exists from the evolution of the society to prove that despite the law is equally applicable to all some appears to be more equal than others in implementation of law.  The Tradition still goes on!

Let me now corroborate the same from mythological story to prove that inconsistencies existed even during the pre historical age and such abaration was used to be tolerated even by great man like Lord Rama ----let alone ordinary souls at the helm of affair now. Let  me confess that this story was not authored by me. Any body having doubt may refer to the Ramayana written by the pious soul Sri Sri Manivannan. At best it is my feeble effort to corelate it with modern day transactions to show such abarations were and are acceptable in the larger interest of the exigencies of the organisation.
The fierce battle between lord Rama and Ravana was going on.Meghnath the son of Ravana and a great warrior was fighting under the cover of cloud against Laxmana and at one point of time Meghnath shot his most powerful Agnishwar bsna(arrow)to Laxmana who tried to evade it but failed to bear it's tremendous jerk and shok  when the same passed by his ears. Laxmana fell unconscious but did not get back his sense even after 10 hours.Lord Rama being very anxious called the doctor brothers Ashwani  from the heaven.They came ,examined Laxmana and wrote the proscription advising Laxmana to administer the extracts from Vishalya karani leaves(the leaves from the panacea tree,)within next ,6,,hours They  further informed that this tree is available only at vindhya parvat(mountain) which  was about 4000kms from the place of war i.e Rameshwaram
It was possible only for Hanuman and Lord Rama instructed him to bring the leaves as early possible However Lord Rama gave this instruction orally. Hanuman hence submitted his tour programme to Bharat who was then ruling the kingdom in the name of Lord Rama The tour programme was duly approved by Bharatha and Hanuman flew to vindhya parvat to collect the leaves but failed to trace the tree.Hence he uprooted the entire mountain  and carried it with him and placed it beside Laxmana The tree was easily identified by the doctors from the heaven and it's extracts  were administered and Laxmana  regained his consciousness in no time and became fit.
Meanwhile Hanuman submitted his Travelling Expenditure bill to the Accounts department for sanction but found to his dismay that the entire TE bill was rejected on the following grounds:--
1.The tour programme was approved by King Bharatha who is running the king Dom by means of a power of attorney executed in favour by Lord Rama and the said PA does not give him power to approve tour programme. Even if it is accepted that Lord Rama orally  permitted him but there is nothing on record and hence declined.
,2.Hanuman being a scale one officer is not permitted to fly and hence flying expences and diem allowance declined.
3.Hanuman carried the entire mountain instead of bringing some leaves entailing huge Expenditure  and hence excess baggage charges disallowed Further in addition, disciplinary action be initiated against Hanuman for undertaking unauthorized travel as also to flout the instructions by bringing the entire mountain instead of few leaves that might put the exchequer in to heavy loss , had the bill been sanctioned through oversight.
Hanuman got demoralised and approached Lord Rama but he expressed his inability for any favour against the extant rule but asked him to talk to Laxmana. Hanuman did so and appraised him the entire situation Laxman got very very angry  and instructed the head of the administration to transfer the officer from the accounts department and post an obliging officer to sanction the T E bill of Hanuman.The instruction was carried out and the bill was sanctioned on the following grounds:--
1.It is a fact that the power of attorney does not give any power to king Bharatha to approve tour programme but has not specified explicitly that long Bharatha  does not have that power either Moreover he is ruling  the kingdom in the name of Lord Rama
Who did not object to it and hence the tour programme is deemed to have been sanctioned.
2.It is a fact that Hanuman being scale  one officer is not permitted to fly but was constrained to fly on official exigencies. Had he not taken the decision to fly It would have been difficult for Laxmana sir to survive. Hence allowed.
3.Hanuman being scale one officer is not expected to Recognise and locate the panacea leaves and had carried the entire mountain to save expenses of multiple journeys as also to save time. in addition ,it is recommended that special incentive be granted in favour of Hanuman for doing a yeoman's service to save the life of our respected Laxmana sir
Submitted and recommended srongly for sanction

Cooking with coconut oil

THE TASTE OF PUDDING LIES IN EATING

Generally those persons who are born and brought up  in a north Indian family or outside southern states are habituated to cook or consume food cooked in any edible oils like mustard oil,White oil ,palm oil sunflower oil til oil etc There is nothing wrong in it but what is wrong is the impression that  coconut oil used as cooking medium is the same as that we use it as hair oil Further the erroneous impression goes even to that any thing cooked with coconut oil gives you the peculiar smell that we get in hair oil and nothing tasty can be prepared out of coconut oil!  What a wrong perception and we never try to verify the veracity of our opinion with that of reality by atleast tasting one dish prepared with coconut oil.
To day I have had the experience of tasting some delicious dishes with coconut oil  and what a heavenly sublime taste. I had chicken biriyany, dry ginger mutton and mutton kasha and all  cooked with coconut edible oil. side dish was Raita with pomegranate and pickles The flavour and smell of  coconut oil was so insignificant but enhanced the taste to a super height I discussed the same with some of my friends and one of them commented that nothing tasty can be prepared out of coconut oil. To that my professional reply is that any human being should come out of box thinking and the most unpleasant reply is that A BAD WORKMAN ALWAYS QUARRELS WITH HIS OR HER TOOLS but a good cook always grinds his or her axe always and makes the same  tasty food with any  standard cooking  medium. Very Very thanks To Aliba  food joints for giving  me a fantastic experience but the location is little far and I wish it to be in or around parkstreet  .
Lastly I want to hold my south Indian friends in general and keralites  in particular responsible.  . None of them has ever invited me or any north Indian friend  to taste food cooked with coconut oil Is it a fact that they want to keep the secret with  them only. In this connection I wish to share my experience of about one year back when while appreciating the post of one of my keralite's friends recipe posted in the foodies' blog in face book ,I jokingly asked her to invite me on which she was kind enough to advise me to have  it from  any reputed restaurant😀😁😂

My effort

Some of my friends are encouraging me to write a book on my experience for about 39 years of service. yes I agree that because of my posting in various places along the length and breadth of the country, I have had varied experience which,interalia,includes encounter with ghost(,,yes it is a fact) ,meeting with number of satans,romance,love,humours, peculiar practical Banking problems
,confrontation,fraud ,forgery,favouritism, nepotism and what not. only I never had the experience of meeting or seeing Any Thakur or God but reverse of God was seen in plenty I am already in the process of writing two books one titled Down Memory Lane and another on practical Banking including sound lending process to maintain the asset quality. However you will surely agree that these are long term proposals and will not be able to be completed  before 6months to say the least .on the other hand it is impossible to predict the longevity as all of us are mortals.In
case if any thing untowardly incident takes place in my case, I am posting some of hilarious incidents in the face book to prove that Banking is not at all a drab subject and it is challenging which contains lot of humours provided one has the true eyesight to locate the same.
In fine I express my heartfelt thanks to all those friends who are encouraging me constantly  to write and those in particular who have booked the unborn books that shows their unbridled confidence on me Thanks to all of you once again. I assure you I shall try my level best to translate your confidence in to reality.

RUPEES NINE

THE DIFFERENCE WAS JUST RS. 9 ONLY BUT IT WAS A MATTER OF BREAD AND BUTTER ONLY FOR ME.

To day I am going to share one of my extremely unique experience of my life as a bank officer while I was posted as centre in charge of a particular training centre.
It was an induction programme for  newly recruited(direct) specialist batch of officers.Twenty five number of officers were nominated and all without a single drop out came to attend the programme.
As usual the introductory speech was given by me as centre in charge detailing the rules ,dos  and don't etc etc with lot of punch of motivation.I was introduced to all the trainees and found all of them were highly qualified extremely intelligent ,hard working ,eager to learn, serious and no nonsense in their attitude.It was an admixture of 25 young boys and girls coming from all over the country including south.
After the preliminaries were over,the course Co ordinators came to my chamber and requested me to take one more additional class on cash management which I readily agreed. The cash management class basically contains cash management with particular reference to difference of government note and bank noteS and it's vsruous features so that fake notes are easily identified as also to maintain minimum cash balance to increase the profitability. In fact the class on this subject is a drab one but considering the impressive composition of the group as also my wide experience in the field,I ventured to take the class willingly.
On the appointed date I started taking the class in my husky loud voice(they say and not me) in the normal course before an audience of 25 trainees eager enough to listen to each and every word with beaming eyes and shinning faces portraying intelligence and willingness to learn.I talked about various feature of notes like security threads ,water mark, distinctive invisible marks and printed numbers on either side in respect of some notes etc and concluded by saying that one rupee note was issued by government of India which contains the signature of secretary of ministry of finance and all other motes from two rupee note and above are issued by Reserve bank of India and bears the signature of governor of RBI.Further I added that one rupee note is called government note as it is issued by government without any corresponding gold or gold's worth deposit due to low velocity of circulation while all other notes from rupee 2 and upwards are called bank notes as they are issued by RBI with corresponding deposit of gold or gold's worth  as their velocity of circulation impacts the economy fully.
I was very satisfied with my deliberations  and taking a sip of water from the glass,I asked "have you now understood the difference between bank and government note?"Pat came the reply in chorus 'yes siiiir.I felt extremely delighted and my chest was further inflated.Again in order to re assure myself, I asked them "Please tell me the difference between a ten rupee note and one rupee note?"And again pat came the reply it is 9 rupees siiiir. I could not believe  as to what I heard. I asked what?By that time my husky and loud voice became as thin and low as possible but the answer was thunderous NINE RUPEES SIIIIR.
The entire sky seemed to have fallen on my head. I wast crestfallen with the grinning and grim face of the ever criticising face of our principal being flashed with some  yellow stars dancing erratically before my eyes.I had to leave the class as a defeated soldier  leaving behind my junior friends  who pinned me down to the ground literally

My EXPERIMENT WITH ENGLISH

Having been graduated from one of the most reputed missionary college in kolkata,I got employment as probationary officer with one nationalised bank and was posted in Guwahati in Assam
At that time our zonal office was located in kolkata being headed by one scale IV officer designated as Regional Manager. He was known to be a strict person but every body used to laugh  at his extraordinary   weakness for English and equally poor
command over the language. He used to talk in English even with bengalis without any exception. His name was Mr.Danto.
One day I had been to his chamber  seeking my transfer from Guwahati to kolkata and hardly he completed his steriotype answer"please keep your fingers crossed" his PA Mr.lotus Lal entered his chamber and informed him that the general secretary of clerical association Mr.Peaceful Augment(a widely respected person and a very good orator i
n English with sound reasoning)was  waiting outside his chamber to meet him.Having heard this,Mr.Danto jumped from his chair,almost ran  near to the door of his chamber,pulled the door and greeted Mr.Peaceful saying "WHY ARE YOU OUTSTANDING SIR INCOME INCOME PLEASE"
They entered and I was to leave when  Mr.Danto asked me as to where I was going.I replied coolly sir I would be UNDERSTANDING  and  you might call me once you were over. Mr.Peaceful  asked me in chaste English as to what I meant by undestsnding and I replied sir it is banking English outstanding means standing outside and similarly understanding means standing downstairs and he burst into a loud laughter and Mr.Danto joined them with or withiutout understanding the cause.
P.S.The names are imaginary and changed while trying to retain the flavour of their original names under a veil.

Experience

To day we(Mr. KS Venkatesh CM HRMD and I) have had the most horrific and gruelling experience of having felt the touch and presence of death from a very close distance.At about 7.45pm my personal driver was ready with the official car at the entry/exit gate of our office to pick and drop us at our respective residences.The car was full of petrol and so also the driver.By the time we could realise this,the driver was spirited enough to race the car with  the wind.The next 45 minutes of drive seemed to have an endless journey escaping headlong confrontations with other vehicles/heavy vehicles, pedestrians,two wheelers by a hair line distance amid  Ho Ho loud sounds from others on the road and feeble sounds like oh; Ayappa Ayappa from the throat of Sri Venkatesh inside the car  continously .It jumped all most all traffic signals making our faces pale and heartbeats so loud to hear it  by naked ears.By the mercy of God we reached our destination unhurt with a huge sigh of relief.All throughout our journey we were constrained to have the smell of death coming directly from the entire respiratory system of my driver Dushan(pollution) by name. What was a guiding spirit behind the spirited behavior of Sri Dushan was almost a death knell for us . Miracles still happen.

Comment of k s venkatesh cmhrmd

Today Dy Zonal Head Rup Shankar Bhattacharya gave a fantastic expression of thoughts, during the farewell function of AGM RO Bengaluru NK Ramachandran, which was like an unbriddled flow of tap water. The spontaneous assimilation of thoughts coupled with humorous anecdotes left the listeners spell bound. The listeners were awestuck and there was laugh riot all over. It is the irony of our Bank that such wonderful speakers are laying down their good offices in the near future without due recognition in the Bank.
Rup Shonkor Babu, from today your fan following has increased.

An unfortunate death

At last the mortal body of our beloved SURESH was consigned to the omnivorous  flame of the fire on his journey to the eternity.I will now miss your ever smiling face hence forth in the morning with a cup of coffee  on my reaching to the office. Yes I agree that I am not related to you and hence you are not supposed to have any concern for me.But what about your two small children aged not more than even 6 years.The love you used to show for them was all fake?No I can't believe it.Then what has prompted you to take such a drastic but nonsense step?Who brought these two innocent children to this cruel world? You; Then what right have you got to leave them in the lurch?To day when I went to your house to pay my last homage,did you notice that your children were moving around the glass casket in which you life less body was laid and that they were  pushing your body in  vein to wake you up so that you could again take charge of them as earlier. Instead your face was radiating with the glow signifying heavenly peace.
No SURESH I will never forgive you for this cowardice escape.I can never support your stealthy exit from the back door.Nor I will shed even a drop of tears for you And I hate your action.This  is not Salvation my brother but a direct act of imposed exploitation on your siblings  for no fault of their own

Change

NOTHING CHANGES WITH THE CHANGE OF TIME EXCEPT OUR PRIORITIES,PREFERENCES,RESPECT,REGARDS AND LIKES. ONCE OUR DECLARED MOST PREFERRED PRIORITIES,PREFERENCES ETC ALONG WITH OUR REFERENCES ARE PUT TO THE BACK SEAT WITH NEW SET OF IDEAS OF PREFERENCES;PRIORITIES AND REFERANCES AS DEMANDED BY THE REVISED SCENARIO.THIS FLEXIBILITY IS KNOWN AS RATIONALITY AND NOT ANIMALITY. THAT'S WHY WE ARE NOT DOGS OR BEASTS BUT HUMAN BEINGS; THE BEST CREATION OF THE GOD.😀😁😄

Battle

WITHOUT MALICE TO ALL AND NONE-----SELF RETROSPECTION ONLY.

We are all Learned without Learning.We have never fought even a single battle yet We consider ourselves to be a great Fighter.We pretend ourselves to be civilised and a true patriot by Proxy.We are courteous, intelligent beyond any proportion.We are not crazy about any thing.We can pass any examination,earn our livelihoods  and Smoke too.
We will never lead but follow to criticise only the poor man who wants  to show and take us to  the right path .WE NEVER WORK BUT EAGER TO EXTEND OUR ADVICE EVEN IF UNSOLICITED.

Maid servant vs made in India

To day I realised that maid servant in India  is more important  than made in India.😰😩😟😱

Cut your coat according to your cloth

A LESSON FROM A BANKER.
A banker is not supposed to be a teacher but I as a banker like to share my experience.
The old saying  goes that you should cut your coat according to your cloth.Similarly I also request you to spend  to the extent you earn.In some exceptional circumstances,You may have to borrow but borrow what you can repay and with a firm time schedule.Never give a false promise to your lender.It is better to beg in a railway station than to default in your commitment A person who can not turn his promise into commitment  is even inferior to a beast either financially or otherwise.Hence promise what you can commit.Choice is yours but consequences  of your choice is not yours.

A tribute to our teachers

SOUL SEARCHING.
ALL OF US BY THIS TIME MUST HAVE REACHED THE SKY OR ARE IN THE PRO CESS OF TOUCHING THE SKY TOMORROW OR DAY AFTER TOMORROW.
DO WE REMEMBER
THE PERSON/S WHO GAVE US THE CONFIDENCE BY TEACHING THAT EVEN SKY COULD BE TOUCHED EASILY BY PLANTING OUR FEET SOLIDLY  ON THE GROUND WHEN WE WERE SCEPTICAL  ABOUT OUR CAPIBILITIES.
EVEN OUTSIDE THE CLASSROOM,WHENEVER WE WERE CONFRONTED WITH PRACTICAL PROBLEMS, WE WERE PRIVILEGED ENOUGH TO HAVE THEIR WISDOM WITHOUT ANY CONSIDERATION.
DEBT OF GRATITUDE CAN NOT BE REPAID EVEN BY BLOOD BUT CAN BE ACKNOWLEDGED.

Cost of reconciliation

RECONCILIATION
            (Short Story )

Today, being the last day of the week, is the day of reconciliation and resolution of all family disputes and differences so that the ensuing new week can have a clean and spotless slate to start with Of course to repeat the history in this or that form ultimately. Hence I had to accept all my mistakes unconditionally and seek apology.My daughter suggested
to give her mother a gift to which I agreed. All of us had been to  e. Zone. an electronic  super market.My better half took one i. Pod and i.pad for  my daughter. And For me; I PAID only.concluded.
P.S. DEMON AND SIMON BEWARE

Burn balm and calm

Celebration
(1st second Saturday off)
            Short story
My better half as usual was lamenting about her bad luck of being tied to wed lock with me for various reasons.she lamented , inter alia, that her career and future have been doomed for ever because of her marriage with a good for nothing guy like me.I was also nodding my head on both sides in agreement to what she said. Ultimately she came to the conclusion that she would have been much more happier if she would have been married even to a Demon.I cold not bear any more and exclaimed"How come a marriage be solemnised in the same blood relation or within the same family" In no time I am back to my sick bed reeling in unbearable pain. Concluded.
P.S. Friends don't worry.My wife is taking enough care of me applying balm to my burns and wounds, measuring my temperature at regular intervals and sponging to the unhurt portion(notwithstanding very few spaces are left unhurt) I am hopeful to be back on my feet by Monday to mark my attendance to the office.

Not obeying the instructions

COMMAND
        Short Story

I have recently purchased a lap top.I spend my time with it during my leisure time  mainly on Google and face book etc.My wife also got attracted to it.one day while she was busy with the laptop, it got hung up due to power fluctuations. My wife complained to me"see your computer is not responding to my command".I simply said "Darling it is not your husband who  obeys all your commands" Good god.Dont worry. I am recovering fast from my severe injuries. Concluded.

Prediction

The prediction came true.
              A short story.
The astrologer predicted that the new born male child would have lot of ups and downs throughout his life.The child on attaining majority was appointed as a lift man of a multi storied building. CONCLUDED

Love begets love

GENUINE LOVE SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS AND PSEUDO RESPECT.
To day at about 5.30 pm,I was feeling hungry.our canteen was closed to day.All on a sudden Simon Gomes an officer of our department who is even less than half of my age appeared before me and instructed me"sir,please have this samosa chat" who says miracle does not happen;.It happens but you will have to have the heart to realise it

Sound advice

Talking to our OL  Chief Manager Dr.Neera Prasd and credit officers of FGMO about the utility of sound advice where sound constitutes 99.99% and advice 0.01%😬😠😬😕

Communication

Effective communication:
           Short story
My wife asked me today to bring some dog biscuits for her  some pet street dogs from a nearby shop.The shop owner is known to us as we often frequent the shop for our daily needs.I went and asked him for some dog biscuits.The shop owner smiled wide enough to touch the respective tips of his years and said it was ready as per istruction of MADAM (MY better half).Then he politely asked me "sir, Are you going to eat the biscuits here or shall I pack it for you?" Concluded.

Be grateful but never expect gratitude

Always  be grateful  but never expect gratitude from others.This is a  fact beyond any iota of doubt but the heart which defies all logic cannot accept the fact that the person you once loved and sacrificed everything without any expectation simply ignores or fails to accept  your good willingness    on the pretext of being insecured(Danab) by your presence,Your heart is bound to bleed and you are to endure as there is no cure.you can  not force any body especially your so called near and dear ones  to listen to the silent weeping of your heart.

Intelligence

A REAL STORY YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT

A Bengali gentleman was riding his motor cycle with a madrasi on his pillion.The Bengali gentleman suddenly stopped his motor cycle and started scratching his helmet. The pillion rider I.e.The madrasi  asked him inquisitively why are you scratching your helmet when your head is itching! Please open your helmet.The Bengali gentleman retorted  angrily that when your back itches  do you open everything including your inner garmement  in public to scratch it?The madrasi was wonder struck with such an irrerufutable logic!Aftr all Bengal is a land of culture romance and super intelligence and intellect.The madrsi means any person  from South India may be from kerala ,tamilnadu,karntaka,Andhra pradesh or Telengana

Truth is stranger than fiction

IMAGINARY STORY.  MALICE TO NONE AND LOVE TO ALL

During the process of analysis of the financials of a big sole proprietorship concern, it was noticed that a substantial amount  being the cost price of some perigee dogs were treated as purchase and subsequently treated as stocks in the balance sheet. Treating it either as error in principle or an error of misposting, the amount was reduced both from purchase and stocks and the same was treated as drawings presuming the dogs were purchased by the proprietor out of the profit of his concern for the purpose of domestication at his residence. Still to be sure beyond an iota of doubt,clarification was sought.
A young accountancy qualified gentleman came to represent the firm and vehemently resisted the action. He  insisted the same should be treated as stocks as the hairs of the dogs can be utilised as substitute for wools to manufacture warm garments.

Destiny prevails

Un Palatable Truth.
A person who has been destined to be deprived  by the God,is sure  to be deprived by all even by his near and dear ones.No amount of respect,love and relation will be a deterant factor to save him from his undue deprivation.He is only expected to follow instructions without any question (As any question will be deemed to be a sign of greed on his part and not a need as per the established law of logic and practices)The good willingness  is treated as weakness on his part and a sign of wisdom and generosity  on the other.The silence  is treated as his acceptance.This Tradition repeats and continues since evolution of mankind on this earth and shall prevail forever.

It is the end and not the means

A Story by Imagination.

Once a doctor,a priest and a bank officer expired simultaneously on the same day in India.All of them were taken to the gateway of heaven/hell to decide whether to be sent to heaven or hell.
The yama by virtue of his position was the disciplinary authority to allocate berth either in heaven or hell.But he does it judiciously only after an interview.
The doctor was called and was asked as to why he should be given a berth in heaven.The doctor started telling his experience as how he had served the ailing patients all day and night etc etc. The doctor came to the end of the story by saying that all his selfless services used to give him a lot of peace and pleaded a berth  in the heaven in view of his good work. The doctor was asked to wait for the final verdict.
The priest in reply to the same question replied confidently that all throughout his life he was busy in worshipping  the gods and goddesses  and used to get lot of peace out of his work and hence pleaded for place in the heaven.He was also asked to wait.
Now the turn comes for the bank officer.On being asked the same question the bank officer started crying to say that unlike his earlier two friends, he had never been in peace all throughout his  life.The composite pressure of customers, government officers ,officers from the controlling offices  along with demands from staff members being garnished with the firing of his  boss,and sometimes under the threat of audit,vigilance,  not even a single day he  could leave  the office in peace or with job satisfaction. Similarly he could never satisfy his  wife or children as he could not give them any time.He was in mental agony and unrest and that led to his massive heart attack  which caused his  death.As he  had  never done any good thing that could qualify him  for a berth in heaven, he remained silent with tears rolling down his eyes uncontrollably.
Now the time for verdict.The verdict is small and precise.
The yama  gave his verdict that no one person should be sentenced to hell twice.The banker had already served his full sentence in hell while alive and now he be sent to heaven and others in hell
P S  The idea of the story  was given by my brother like friend Sri Debasish Sengupta who is a an outstanding credit officer of union bank,  a poet and an educated person with a sound literary  background  a class by himself.I am responsible for the poor translation.

The journey

Down memory lane.
            A brief recital.

December 30th 1976 the journey that started from Kolkata is coming to a halt on 30th January 2016 at Bengaluru station. Please allow me to go back three or four days.Having graduated from one of the prestigious college with a very satisfactory rankings at the age 19+,I was pursuing some professional courses.Meanwhile I appeared for P.O examination in various nationalised banks. And no communication till 27th December 1976.My 2nd elder brother one day !.e.23 rd December 1976 took me to one of his  amateur astrologer cum friend who predicted that  I be employed and to leave west Bengal by that year 1976.That was the first and last prediction that came true in my life.On 27 December I got a telegram to the effect that I was selected as a probationary officer with union bank of India and was asked to report for duty at our Guwahati(Assam) Development office by 30 th of December.
On 28th December I had been to my college to seek blessings from our prefect  father Joris.while I touched his feet to seek his blessings ,he drew me to his chest and recited in his bary tone voice"My son the woods are lovely dark and deep you will have to go a miles and miles away  before you could sleep" you are no more in this world but you must have seen from up that I have kept your promise to walk miles and miles  without any self interest but for the benefit of bank ,my colleagues and others.Your last sentence "go and kiss the sky" was misconstrued by me in  literal sense and my repeated but feeble effort to kiss was a big and big miss 😁😂always till I  realised that you wanted me to travel extensively. Father during my entire service career I have had the opportunity to travel east west north and south.
I am proud to say that during this long journey ,I was never derailed either by memorandum or charge sheet despite the fact I was all along an aggressive bank officer.Father your advice that if you work transparently and without any ulterior motive,nothing bad can touch you. you were correct. However my journey has been delayed quite often courtesy my close friends.
But I was not demoralised as suffering for a good cause is no less a reward for me. On the EVE of my retirement  I have forgiven all those friends not because of the fact they deserve forgiveness but because I need peace.Yes it includes the said special friend who tried to damage my reputation  very recently I only want him to remember the days not so very far when his very close relative was injured severely on a road accident and it was  I who spent couple of sleepless nights for him  and arranged every thing from hospitalisation to operation and follow up treatment all in your absence.And number of your so called Well wishers  never spent even a single moment.I never expect gratitude but remain ever grateful to others.
Last but not least I would like to put in record that I am indeed grateful to all my colleagues and my beloved bank without whom I could not become what I am to day.on 30th Jan 2016 my journey will be terminated at Bengaluru  and I will take leave of you.I beg to be excused if I have(generally this is not my habit) misbehaved with or hurt any body in any manner.
Time Marches on but memories stays .
Torturing  us Silently the rest of our days.Let my memories be my fixed deposit to bank upon my residual days .ADIEU AMIGO  ADIEU  MY FRIENDS.The road we have travelled has come to an end.All my good wishes.

Tea coffee vs Alcohol

CONFUSED
MY FRIEND WHO IS A SENIOR BANK OFFICER HAD TO ATTEND ONE PRIVATE PARTY TO ENTERTAIN SOME  OFFICIALS.IN THE PROCESS HE HAD TO GULP 3 OR 4 PEGS OF WHISKY  AND WAS LATE TO REACH HOME.IN BETWEEN  HIS WIFE  WAS  WAITING FOR HIM  BY DRINKING TEA OF 3 OR 4 CUPS.
WHEN MY FRIEND CAME  BACK HOME,  HIS  WIFE WAS SO WILD THAT SHE SHOUTED  AT HER   EXTREME  PITCH  AND REFUSED  HER HUSBAND TO ENTER. ALL THROUGHOUT THE FAMILY DRAMA , MY FRIEND WAS AS COOL AS ICE  AND BY WORDS AS SWEET AS VANILA ICE CREAM.
I WAS THERE AT THAT TIME  BEING ATTRACTED BY THE SHOUT AND SOUND.
NOW I AM CONFUSED WHICH ONE IS STRONG TEA OR WHISKY !I FEEL TEA IS MORE INTOXICATING .HENCE DO NOT TAKE TEA AS
IT IS INJURIOUS TO YOUR HEALTH AND MOOD.
THANK GOD MY WIFE DOES  NOT TAKE TEA     😁😂😂

The two shades of life

WHITE I AM.BLACK I AM.
I AM VERY GOOD WITH GOOD PERSONS BUT TOUGH AND ROUGH WITH BAD.HENCE MY GOOD NESS OR BADNESS DEPENDS UPON THE NATURE AND PERCEPTION OF THE COUNTER PARTY AND NOT ON ME.ALL SEEMS YELLOW TO THE JAUNDICED EYES.    SOURCE UNKNOWN

Death and cowards

COWARDS DIE MANY A TIMES BEFORE THEIR DEATHS.FACE THE EVENTUALITY.CAN A COW DIE AT THE CURSE OF A VULTURE!I IF SO IT IS AN EXCEPTION AND EXCEPTION PROVES THE LAW ONLY AND NOT THE DESIRE OF THE VULTURE.

Life beyond death

It is believed that the soul is immotral but it's container or the body in common language is mortal.The soul which acts as a guiding spirit is the most powerful strength and is beyond extinction but needs a solid container to live in.when the container becomes weak due to wear and tear due to age factor or disease,the soul has to leave the container or the body to find another empty  container(probably at time of birth of a newborn babe) to live in for a fresh journey.The act of leaving the container or body is commonly known as Death.Sometimes the death may become sudden and premature due to unexpected accident or sudden act of God like heart attack or stroke which the body or container is unable to bear to hold the soul.The other type of situation comes due to some terminal disease where there is a constant fight between the container and the killer disease and the deterioration or improvement is very slow.This transition period between life and death is the most painful especially for those who can neither share it nor digest.On the one hand he is sure that death is imminent and on the other there is a strong zeal to live more.This is a period called hallucination. A man with a strong attitude takes a solace that there will be a death of his body but his soul shall remain alive in some other container. It is just like changing your dress to a better one.A man who can take it in that fashion becomes happy keeps every body happy to his best smiles and makes others smile without exhibition of his pain and grief. This stage is called self actualisation.

Some thoughts from Life after death

How To Live & Die

How To Live & Die

I’ve often thought about what it is that makes people happy—what one has to do in order to achieve happiness.

1- First and foremost is good health. If you do not enjoy good health, you can never be happy. Any ailment, however trivial, will deduct something from your happiness.

2- Second, a healthy bank balance. It need not run into crores, but it should be enough to provide for comforts, and there should be something to spare for recreation—eating out, going to the movies, travel and holidays in the hills or by the sea. Shortage of money can be demoralising. Living on credit or borrowing is demeaning and lowers one in one’s own eyes.

3- Third, your own home. Rented places can never give you the comfort or security of a home that is yours for keeps. If it has garden space, all the better. Plant your own trees and flowers, see them grow and blossom, and cultivate a sense of kinship with them.

4- Fourth, an understanding companion, be it your spouse or a friend. If you have too many misunderstandings, it robs you of your peace of mind. It is better to accept the differences than to be quarrelling all the time.

5- Fifth, stop envying those who have done better than you in life—risen higher, made more money, or earned more fame. Envy can be corroding; avoid comparing yourself with others.

6- Sixth, do not allow people to descend on you for gossip. By the time you get rid of them, you will feel exhausted and poisoned by their gossip-mongering.

7- Seventh, cultivate a hobby or two that will fulfill you—gardening, reading, writing, painting, playing or listening to music. Going to clubs or parties to get free drinks, or to meet celebrities, is a criminal waste of time. It’s important to concentrate on something that keeps you occupied meaningfully.

8- Eighth, every morning and evening devote 20 minutes to meditation or introspection. In the mornings, 10 minutes should be spent in keeping the mind absolutely still, and five listing the things you have to do that day. In the evenings, five minutes should be set aside to keep the mind still and 10 to go over the tasks you had intended to do.

9- Ninth, don’t lose your temper. Try not to be short-tempered, or vengeful. Even when a friend has been rude, just move on.

10- Above all, when the time comes to go, one should go like a Person without any regret or grievance against anyone.

Excerpts from the writings of Kushwant singh

MY EXPERIENCE WTH TRUTH

TMY EXPERIENCE WTH TRUTH. 
     
                  Very recently I had been to Bhubaneswar in connection with some of my personal work
I booked my return journey by Puri express the next day night. On that day the train arrived at the station in time and I boarded the train and occupied the allotted lower berth in the 2nd a\c compartment .Another gentleman boarded the compartment,got his berth number tallied from his ticket and settled on the upper berth.He even brought out his dinner packet and started munching it with a lot of apparent satisfaction as evident from his half closed eyes.

By this time the train started moving with a jerk and the gentleman made a soliloquy to the effect Oh the train started 10 minutes before the schedule time. I could not keep mum and remarked no sir ,it started right in time He again looked at his watch and shot back your watch is running fast.
Then he asked me at what time the train is expected to reach Mumbai! With lot of anxiety I swallowed the remaining saliva to make my throat  wet and replied sir this train is supposed to reach Howrah(Kolkata) tomorrow by 7 am.The gentle man gave me a caustic look and with a circustic smile hanging loosely from the edge of his right side lips replied see how our railways have done the wonders through science.The lower berth is going to Howrah and upper berth goes to VT station but by the same train.They must have introduced it following the introduction of semi bullet train from Delhi to Agra.And to day it must be a trial run without any publicity.Mean while the ticket examiner arrived and it was found that the gentleman boarded the wrong train notwithstanding his birth number matched for obvious reasons.By that time the train arrived at Cuttack and I helped that gentleman to deboard the train with his countless bag and baggage. After everything was unloaded, I asked him innocently sir is it Delhi station?To which he replied with a thunderous explosion  IDIOT.some times the word idiot sounds so sweet in the ear that i like to hear it time and again.I L U