My EXPERIMENT WITH ENGLISH

Having been graduated from one of the most reputed missionary college in kolkata,I got employment as probationary officer with one nationalised bank and was posted in Guwahati in Assam
At that time our zonal office was located in kolkata being headed by one scale IV officer designated as Regional Manager. He was known to be a strict person but every body used to laugh  at his extraordinary   weakness for English and equally poor
command over the language. He used to talk in English even with bengalis without any exception. His name was Mr.Danto.
One day I had been to his chamber  seeking my transfer from Guwahati to kolkata and hardly he completed his steriotype answer"please keep your fingers crossed" his PA Mr.lotus Lal entered his chamber and informed him that the general secretary of clerical association Mr.Peaceful Augment(a widely respected person and a very good orator i
n English with sound reasoning)was  waiting outside his chamber to meet him.Having heard this,Mr.Danto jumped from his chair,almost ran  near to the door of his chamber,pulled the door and greeted Mr.Peaceful saying "WHY ARE YOU OUTSTANDING SIR INCOME INCOME PLEASE"
They entered and I was to leave when  Mr.Danto asked me as to where I was going.I replied coolly sir I would be UNDERSTANDING  and  you might call me once you were over. Mr.Peaceful  asked me in chaste English as to what I meant by undestsnding and I replied sir it is banking English outstanding means standing outside and similarly understanding means standing downstairs and he burst into a loud laughter and Mr.Danto joined them with or withiutout understanding the cause.
P.S.The names are imaginary and changed while trying to retain the flavour of their original names under a veil.