One day a teenage girl could see a handsome young man on the bus stop.As love at first sight,she fell in love with that young man.She was beautiful and paragon of beauty and as such had the confidence that no body could reject her.she went straight to the young man and said "I love you"
Having heard this the young man got perplexed for the time being but could recompose himself in no time and placing his hand on the head of the young lady said calmly that my sister,the word love means infatuation which makes a person to go to the wrong path.Then he brought out a small pad from his pocket,wrote simething , tore the page and folded it.Then he gave it to the girl saying that it contained some advice which she should read to day before going to the bed.
The girl returned with wet eyes.
At night the young girl opened the folded chit which read as "are you mad?have you not seen my wife standing behind me.in any case it contains my mobile number.please call me as and when you want.And I love you too my darling "
.
Moral : "Men will be Men"
. 😬😆😄😃😀😉😉😉😉😉😉🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻😉😉😀😃😆😄😆😄😆
Friday, 2 December 2016
COAL NEVER CHANGES IT'S HUE
Saturday, 26 November 2016
UBUNTU
A very nice story from Africa ...
The motivation behind the Ubuntu culture in Africa ...
An Anthropologist proposed a game to the African tribal children ...
He placed a basket of sweets near a tree
And made the children stand 100 metres away.
Then announced that whoever reaches first would get all the sweets in the basket.
When he said 'ready steady go!' ...
Do you know what these children did?
They all held each other's hands, ran together towards the tree, divided the sweets equally among themselves, ate the sweets and enjoyed it.
When the Anthropologist asked them why they did so,
They answered 'Ubuntu'.
Which meant -
'How can one be happy when the others are sad?'
Ubuntu in their language means -
'I am because we are!'
A strong message for all generations.
Let all of us always have this attitude and spread happiness wherever we go.
Let's have a Ubuntu Life ...
I AM BECAUSE WE ARE
Saturday, 12 November 2016
IMAGINARY STORY MALICE TO NONE AND LOVE TO ALL
IMAGINARY STORY. MALICE TO NONE AND LOVE TO ALL
During the process of analysis of the financials of a big sole proprietorship concern, it was noticed that a substantial amount being the cost price of some perigee dogs were treated as purchase and subsequently treated as stocks in the balance sheet. Treating it either as error in principle or an error of misposting, the amount was reduced both from purchase and stocks and the same was treated as drawings presuming the dogs were purchased by the proprietor out of the profit of his concern for the purpose of domestication at his residence. Still to be sure beyond an iota of doubt,clarification was sought.
A young accountancy qualified gentleman came to represent the firm and vehemently resisted the action. He insisted the same should be treated as stocks as the hairs of the dogs can be utilised as substitute for wools to manufacture warm garments.
Tuesday, 8 November 2016
REAL EYE OPENER
We all love Sardar jokes. But see these unknown facts....
During the last vacation, few friends came to Delhi . They rented a taxi for local sight-seeing. The driver was an old Sardar and boys being boys, these pals began cracking Sardarji jokes, just to tease the old man. But to their surprise, the fellow remained unperturbed..
At the end of the sight-seeing, they paid the cab hire charges. The Sardar returned the change, but he gave each one of them one rupee extra and said, ''Sons, since morning you have been telling Sardarji jokes. I listened to them all and let me tell you, some of them were in bad taste. Still, I don't mind coz I know that you are young blood and are yet to see the world. But I have one request. I am giving you one rupee each. Give it to the first Sardar beggar that you come across in this or any other city !!!"
The friends said, "That one rupee coin is still with us. We couldn't find a single Sardar begging anywhere."
👻MORAL:
The secret behind their universal success is their willingness to do any job with utmost dedication and pride. A Sardar will drive a truck or set up a roadside garage or a dhaba, run a fruit juice stall, take up small time carpentry, ... but he will never beg on the streets
Because Sikhs contribute:
* 33% of total income tax
* 67% of total charities
* 45% of Indian Army
* 59,000++ Gurudwaras serve LANGAR to 6,000,000+ people everyday!
&
All this when THEY make only 1.4% of the total INDIAN POPULATION.
And they don't ask for reservation. - Amazing living examples for all of us.
( Shared as received)
Sunday, 30 October 2016
Retirrment
Today Dy Zonal Head Rup Shankar Bhattacharua gave a fantastic expression of thoughts, during the farewell function of AGM RO Bengaluru NK Ramachandran, which were like an unbriddled flow of tap water. The spontaneous assimilation of thoughts coupled with humorous anecdotes left the listeners spell bound. The audience were awestuck and there was laugh riot all over. It is the irony of our Bank that such speakers are laying down their good offices shortly in the Bank without due recognition.
Rup Shonkor Babu, Aaj ke aapnaar fan following ta bede gaalo.K S.Venkatesh Chief Manager HRMD FGMO BANGALURU
Saturday, 29 October 2016
Singing
My wife one day asked me:-
MY Wife:
Whenever I Sing Classical, why do you stand in the Balcony...?
ME
To ensure that our neighbours don't think I'm Beating you...!!!
😝😂
Friday, 21 October 2016
MANAGER LESSON PART II
Only a few days back, I was fortunate enough to have been invited by a reputed Management Institute on penultimate day to address a group of senior officers of various organisations participating in some Executive development programme on the topic Present day Leadership as is prevailing in our country.Aftre a thread bare discussion with the concerned course coordinator to understand as to what they expect of me to deliver, I prepared the paper in an allegorical and circustic manner which is now reproduced below:----
Title -- Dare to dream beyond GEETA, KORAN, BUBBLE or any other Holy books to be a successful practical Leader
1.Be a begger:-- Temples, Mosques,churches etc are all divine places where the poor beg outside and the affluent beg inside.Similarly your organisation is a divine place and if you are a top senior level officers beg confidentially from those persons who matter and enjoy the begging of middle and junior level officers openly from them.Sometimes throw them some alms but never satisfy them fully.
2.Enjoy power while in chair:-This is a hard reality and a universal fact.In a wedding ceremony,the groom follows the procession ahead of him while in the final journey to the eternity,the funeral procession follows the corpse.Every body wants to be the centre of attraction even in a funeral procession.In order to be the centre of attraction,one can act as another corpse in a separate cot till you reach the cremation/burial ground.In any case the intention is to steal the limelight from others.
3,Be simple:-Atleast pretend to be loyal to the authority that might be.A successful leader now a days never forgets to light up candle in Memory of the death anniversary of the father of his boss and make it a point to bring it to his notice.
Similarly,the birth day of your juniors be celebrated by blowing of candles(opposite action) and cutting cake.you will be considered as leader of the grassroot level workers.By this method, a true leader can have his bread buttered on either side.one may not be loyal to his organisation but should be loyal to one individual subject to change of preferences fro time to time.
4.Pretend to be the photograph :-This modern philosophy can be explained by an exampl. A nail in the wall bears the maximum load during the life time of his master.Even after his death, a photo of his master is hung on the wall and people praise the man in the photo and not the nail Act like a photograph and at time of your departure,pass on this mantra to your successor if by any chance he does not know it.
5 Be indispensable and not valuable:--A flower bouquet may cost Rs1000 but it generally finds place in the feet and then to waste paper box.But a Bindi may cost only Rs 2 but finds its place on the forehead.Try to be a Bindi rather than to be a flower bouquet.
6 Be harsh with your juniors in communications:--The history is the testimony to the fact that no insects come nearer to Neem leaves as it is bitter in taste but sugar attracts ants daily.Take precautions to avoid the string of ants But if you want to get any work done,please be sweet to others.Similarly when some senior speaks sweet to you,please be sure there is a motive behind it
7Never give value judgement but practice it wherever possible:-No body likes honest critism.No body likes to go in a straight road but loves to walk through serpentine lane.This is precisely the reason no body asks an alcohol dealer to supply a bottle a day to the house..Instead they purchase it from the shop as per the requirement.But in case of milk, they ask the milk vendor to supply it daily to their respective houses. But in case of milk dealer ,they always cast an aspersion as to how much water is adulterated while in case of alcohol, they(consumer)themselves mix water.why this Paradoxical behaviour?Hence no value judgement but take maximum benefit from who is ready to oblige without making him to understand.
8. Divide and rule:---The GEETA ,KORAN,BIBLE and all holy books remain in the same library but they never quarrel among themselves.Those who quarrel in the name of those books have never read it but still engage themselves in bloody fight at the instances of some vested interest.The present day leader should imbibe this attributes as a catalyst and ensure smooth administration.
9.No regrets about the past:-A successful leader of modern day never thinks about the past as past is only for reference and not residence..
10.Be selfish :-It is not being selfish to love youself,take care of yourself and to take all steps to make yourself happy and prosperous even it means cheating your dear relatives brothers sisters etc.
11.Never Trust:-- Don't trust any body because people change but memories never.And even the changed person will deny his change with a solid and crisps No.Again while talking to some body over your mobile and you donot want to disclose
Sunday, 9 October 2016
ADVISE
WITHOUT MALICE TO ALL AND NONE-----SELF RETROSPECTION ONLY.
We are all Learned without Learning.We have never fought even a single battle yet We consider ourselves to be a great Fighter.We pretend ourselves to be civilised and a true patriot by Proxy.We are courteous, intelligent beyond any proportion.We are not crazy about any thing.We can pass any examination,earn our livelihoods and Smoke too.
We will never lead but follow to criticise only the poor man who wants to show and take us to the right path .WE NEVER WORK BUT EAGER TO EXTEND OUR ADVICE EVEN IF UNSOLICITED.
Tuesday, 4 October 2016
INSANE
Once a psychiatrist asked a patient as to how he turned insane all on a sudden.The patient replied very cooly that it was because of turn of various events in my life.I married a widow who had a girl of 20years out of her earlier wedlock.My father married that young daughter.So technically my daughter became my mother and I became the father in law of my father.They gave birth to a daughter and she became my sister by relation but I am the husband of her grand mother too.So from that side she became my grand daughter.
Now we had a son out of our wedlock.so my son became the brother in law of my father and I became the maternal nephew of my son.
The doctor could not bear any more and shouted at him"please stop all these rubbish.That idiot will make me mad too"
Sunday, 2 October 2016
RESULT AND NOT THE EFFORT THAT MATTERS
On a particular day one priest and a bus driver expired at the same time by coincidence.Both of them were taken to the to the common entrance of the hell and heaven and after due scrutiny both of them were asked to again wait in a queue for entry to the heaven.
The office assistant was having three types of robes ;one made of gold,one made of silver and a general robe to be given to the new entrants according to their status like first class,second class and ordinary class depending upon their deeds while alive.
The priest saw the driver was standing in front of him whom he knew very well for abusive mouth, loutish and rough behaviour apart from being under the impression of the cheap Alcohol all the time.The priest failed to understand how he could get entry to heaven but was sure that he would be given a general robe granting general status.
However to his dismay,the priest found that the loud mouth driver was given a gold robe while the priest was given a general robe-- not even a silver robe.The priest became very agitated and complained to the GOD saying my lord during my life time ,I had been chanting your names from morning till dead of night but that driver was the most uncivilised man ,abusive and used to remain always drunk.while I got a general status,the wicked bus driver was given the most coveted first class status.There seems to be gross injustice my lord.
The God replied yes I agree to what you say but what was the result! Very few used to attend to you and even those persons used to engage themselves on their personal discussion without listening to you let alone chanting my name
On the other hand the bus driver who used to ply bus between uddupi Man galore route used to drive the vehicle being fully drunk in a lightening speed and the bus full of passengers used to shout my name aloud till they reach their destination.Now you tell me whose contribution is more.I am interested not in the means but with the end only.
Moral of the story:-
It is not your effort that counts but it is your result that is what is taken in to consideration.
Wednesday, 28 September 2016
Over smart
The best msg ever 😜😜
Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.
5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Mr. Khokan from Kolkata.
Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.
2000 people leave the room.
Khokan says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'
Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave.
2000 people leave the room.
Khokan says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays………. …
Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.
500 people leave the room.
Khokan says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room..
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Japanese to leave.
498 people leave the room.
Khokan says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Japanese but what do I have to lose?'
So he stays and finds himself with One other candidate. Everyone else has gone.
Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Japanese, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'
Calmly, Khokan turns to the other candidate and says,
Bari kothay dada?
The other candidate answers
Rajarhat.
Tomar???
😂😂😂😂😂
Jio Bangali....
Tuesday, 27 September 2016
English has no gramner
It was an
incident of my early college days sometimes in the year of 1972 or 73 when a cricket match was scheduled by Calcutta university (as far as my knowledge permits)at Eden Garden between England(junior)and India (junior).The England team was led (captain)by Tony Greig who later became the most dependable player of England cricket Team.Similarly ,the captain of Indian junior team was led by one very talented bengali gentleman(name with held intentioally) but subsequently he could not make his mark.
In any case we the students of of all the colleges under Calcutta university assembled there at Eden Garden.As few of us were nominated to take care of the England players, we were in the dressing room of England to take care of them.Meanwhile Tony came and told us "let's go let me introduce with the Indian captain, we came out went near to the Indian dressing room and went inside the dressing room to inform that England Captain had come.The captain of Indian Team came out and the conversation was reproduced verbatim."who is the captain "Tony asked.Indian counter part replied smartly "yea I is the captain" Tony exclaimed "oh you are" and pat came the reply "yeaaa I are!"
Sunday, 25 September 2016
4G LESSON FROM A BANKER
A banker is not supposed to be a teacher but I as a banker like to share my experience.
The old saying goes that you should cut your coat according to your cloth.Similarly I also request you to spend to the extent you earn.In some exceptional circumstances,You may have to borrow but borrow what you can repay and with a firm time schedule.Never give a false promise to your lender.It is better to beg in a railway station than to default in your commitment A person who can not turn his promise into commitment is even inferior to a beast either financially or otherwise.Hence promise what you can commit.Choice is yours but consequences of your choice is not yours.
FEW TIPS TO BE HAPPY
* If You Are Right Then There is No Need to Get Angry ...
* And If You Are Wrong Then You Don't Have Any Right to Get Angry.
* Patience With kids is Love .....
* Patience With Others is Respect.
* Patience With Self is Confidence And Patience With GOD is Faith.
* Never Think Hard About The PAST , It Brings Tears...
* Don't Think More About The FUTURE , It Brings Fear...
* Live This Moment With A Smile , It Brings Cheer.
* Every Test in Our Life Makes Us Bitter Or Better .....
Every Problem Comes To Make Us Or Break Us !
* The Choice is Ours Whether We Become Victims Or Victorious.
* Beautiful Things Are Not Always Good But Good Things Are Always Beautiful ......
* Do You Know Why God Created Gaps between Fingers ? So That Someone , Who is Special To You , Comes And Fills Those Gaps , By Holding Your Hand Forever.
* " Happiness " Keeps You .... Sweet But Being Sweet Brings Happiness.
*And Lastly Patience with wife is called 😊FEAR
Saturday, 24 September 2016
Concept of Time
WHAT IS TIME! IT'S ONLY A MENTAL CONCEPT. THE VALUE OF TIME DEPENDS UPON THE PERCEPTION OF EVERY INDIVIDUAL. YOUR JUST 10 MINUTES MAY BE 10 YEARS FOR OTHER.
WHENEVER YOU ARE EARLY TIME MOVES SLOWLY
WHENEVER YOU ARE LATE TIME MOVES QUICKLY.
SO WHENEVER ANY BODY COMMITS ANY TIME SCHEDULE,DON'T GO BY THE FORM(ie 2 DAYS 7 DAYS ETC) BUT BY THE SUBSTANCE(ie HIS REAL INTENTION).THIS IS VERY MUCH NECESSARY FOR THOSE WHO ARE TRYING TO RECOVER THE LOSS/NPA ASSETS.
Thursday, 22 September 2016
CAUGHT BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND DEEP SEA
THE POOR MEN
IF HE WANTS TO ADMINISTER HIS WIFE;
HE IS TORMENTOR/OPPRESSOR!
IF HE DOES NOT DO SO;
HE IS HENPECKED/ COWARD!
IF HE SPENDS MOST OF THE TIME OUT SIDE HIS HOME;
HE IS IRRESPONSIBLE!
IF HE REMAINS IN THE HOME MOST OF THE TIME;
HE IS GOOD FOR NOTHING!
IF HE DOES NOT WANT HIS WIFE TO BE EMPLOYED;
HE IS JEALOUS!
IF HE ALLOWS HIS WIFE TO BE EMPLOYED;
SHAMELESS/COUNTING ON HIS WIFE'S INCOME!
STORM IN AN EARTHEN TEA CUP
Happiness is a delicate balance between "What I want & What I have". It is an inner joy that can be Sought & Caught BUT can never be Thought & Bought.
Ego thrills and kills too.
Relationship!
Language
After watching number of Hindi dubbed south Indian movies,I am constrainrd to believe that all who are living in entire south India speak with their hands and legs.Hardly they utilise the tongue and leaps to express any thing.And surprisingly there has been no communication gap even though transmitted by different forms of hands and legs.
Conversely look at the Bengali movies (excepting some rare art films) and you may come to a conclusion that persons living in Bengal do not know to move their hands and legs but speak every thing with the help of their lips and tongue or mouth(some will definitely agree with this super fine Bengali culture😁).A rasgulla is spitted out with every word.And such method of communication is not only laborious but not effective too.
I want that Pakistan should be replied with that type of south Indian language because they understand the same.At the end of the struggle,the Bengali method may be applied to apply balm to their burn
Monday, 19 September 2016
SOUL SEARCHING
ALL OF US BY THIS TIME MUST HAVE REACHED THE SKY OR ARE IN THE PRO CESS OF TOUCHING THE SKY TOMORROW OR DAY AFTER TOMORROW.
DO WE REMEMBER
THE PERSON/S WHO GAVE US THE CONFIDENCE BY TEACHING THAT EVEN SKY COULD BE TOUCHED EASILY BY PLANTING OUR FEET SOLIDLY ON THE GROUND WHEN WE WERE SCEPTICAL ABOUT OUR CAPIBILITIES.
EVEN OUTSIDE THE CLASSROOM,WHENEVER WE WERE CONFRONTED WITH PRACTICAL PROBLEMS, WE WERE PRIVILEGED ENOUGH TO HAVE THEIR WISDOM WITHOUT ANY CONSIDERATION.
DEBT OF GRATITUDE CAN NOT BE REPAID EVEN BY BLOOD BUT CAN BE ACKNOWLEDGED.
Friday, 16 September 2016
HOPE AGAINST HOPE
-----Sujith, walked into a bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to his wife who is also a senior officer, at the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
Then wife looked at her husband and said, "Do you think he will jump?"...
Sujith said, "You know, I bet he will jump."
His wife replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Sujith placed a Rs. 1000 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as his wife placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge jumped off the building, falling to his death.
His wife was very upset, but willingly handed her Rs.1000 to her husband, saying, "Fair is fair. Here's your money."
Suit replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 pm news, so I knew he would jump."
Then his replied, "I did too, but didn't think he would do it again."
Sujith took the money without further argument.😁😂
Thursday, 15 September 2016
ADVERTISEMENT
Hello Jai Radha Madhav
Anirban Banerjee announced breakfast at Rs 2/- per plate
The Large hall was thonged by many..
..as they finished there was a second announcement
Lunch @ Re1/-
wow...the hall soon went houseful with the villagers.
..as they finished there was yet another announcement
Dinner @ 50 paise..
Fantastic...ppl stayed back and many other came..
Special Dessert @ discounted price 0.25/-
People turned really mad and as they chomped, gulped and went overboard with their indulgence Anirban humbly bid bye to them and asked them not to hurry and enjoy the food thoroughly as the serving counters were to remain open.
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Later the final announcement.
*Use of Toilet 🚽 Rs 1250/-
.....JIO JIO JIO.....And using Toilet is compulsory.wish a grand success to Anirban's new business venture Banerjee's kitchen
UNPREDICTIBLE
Life is so Unpredictable!!
When
you have Standards,
People Call it Attitude! -_- -_-
When you are Simple,
People try to cheat you!
And
When you Need Someone,
Its the best time for them to play with you..!
That's Life.! A journey from log house to logs in the cremation ground.
AS YOU SOW SO YOU REAP
If karma works why are so many corrupt people successful ?
Pls read this story
Once a king ordered his three ministers to take a bag and go to the forest and fill up the bag with fruits.
The first minister thought that since the king has ordered for collection of fruits, he must collect the best of the fruits in the bag.
The second minister thought that since the king is a very busy person, he may not look very thoroughly into the bag what has been collected and hence he collected whatever he could lay his hands. Thus his bag was filled up with a mixture of good and rotten fruits.
The third minister thought that the king would see only externally how big the bag is and hence he just filled up the bag with all dried leaves and dust.
All the three ministers came back to the court with their respective bags, having executed the order of collecting the fruits.
The King, without even seeing what their bags contained, just ordered that now the three ministers must be sent to separate jails for three months, where they will not be provided with any food and they were only allowed to carry the respective bags wherein they had collected the fruits.
The first minister could spend the three months in the jail by eating the very nice fruits he had collected.
The second one could survive for some time with the good fruits in the bag and later he developed diseases by eating the rotten fruits he had collected.
The Third minister had nothing to eat and hence could not survive.
Moral of the story:
From the above story we understand that we have to undergo the consequences of our own activities.
“You will be suffering your own reactions after your karmas, any single karma you perform, you have to suffer for it. Good and bad, everything, you have to have this reaction. No doubt about it.
In Mahabharata, Anushasana Parva, it is said
yathaa dhenu sahasreshu / vatso gachhati maataram
yat ca krtam karma / kartaaram api gachhati
“Amongst thousands of cows, the calf finds its own mother cow. Similarly the results of our past karma (deeds) when fully ripened, will find us without fail.”
The heaven or hell lies in our earth only stretching towards our life cycle only and not beyond.
Not only be good and honest but appear to be so.
PRINCIPLE OF SUCCESS
There was a farmer who grew excellent quality corn.
Every year he won the award for the best grown corn.
One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learned something interesting about how he grew it.
The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors.
“How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbors when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?” the reporter asked.
“Why sir,” said the farmer, “Didn’t you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field.
If my neighbours grow inferior corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbours grow good corn.”
So it is with our lives...
Enrich the lives of those around you and your life will become beautiful.
...call it a principle of success...
...call it a law of life.
The fact is, none of us truly wins, until we all win!!
Tuesday, 6 September 2016
FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD
A Few days ago I had to go to a far distant place in connection with some of my official assingments.By the time I could wrap up my bag on completion of my work and started back my return journey, the Autocrat and monocrat of the day turned total red and descended to touch the edge of the blue horizon to mark the end of the day and usher the evening.
After traveling about 25/30kms,suddenly the engine of the car started emitting a peculiar sound and the car was stopped abruptly.Despite the best effort of my driver,the car did not move even a single inch apparently to coincide with the wishes of my ill luck who had been following me since long with a dog like tenacity.
The place was totally desolate and the entire place was enveloped with deep darkness coupled with the regular and synchronised annotations of the sounds produced by crickets.The somber and serenity of the deep darkness aided suitably by the sounds of the crickets made the place a mysterious one and I felt an uncanny sensation as if I had been landed to a different planet far from the madding crowd of the modern world.No shops,no house and no light could be spotted by us excepting some vehicles speeding past of us. However after few minutes we could see a blinking red dot a little far away. Closer scrutiny revealed that some body was smoking cigarette.Both of us ran to him and my driver spoke to him in local language.Fortunately he was the chowkider of an Inspection Bungalow and he agreed to allow us to spend the night in a room.He helped us to push the car nearer to the gate of the Bungalow and opened a room for us and lighted a candle.My watch indicated the time at 7.30PM though it looked like midnight.My driver arranged a torch and went to the car to ascertain if he could fix up the problem.
Meanwhile I was sitting at the Verandah stretching my eyes to the outside darkness thinking Abra ka dabra and went in to the world of fantasy and became philosophical like few fool bongs.Thee flash back of my childhood till recently was played on my mind.It came to my mind that when I was born,I had no name but when I would die ,I would leave behind a name.Hence the journey from nameless to acquisition of a name and to leave the name at time of exit might be called as life.The journey from log house to logs at cremation ground could be termed as life.When a new baby was born ,he was loved by all and sundry and similarly when he would die ,every body would shower lot of love and praise to him.In between he would have to manage in any way. No body "in between"could hesitste to hurt ,insult or take him for granted or to ignore him totally as and When required.He may regret for the right thing done for the wrong persons in the name of principles of natural justice.He might seek apologies from the super power that for not being able to learn the worldly mathematics and as a result all the figures evaporated one by one leaving few big Zeros for him.The Trial balance of the life never tallied but remained dark and hollow as that of the outside darkness.I was recollecting that during my journey of life, I made number of my close friends as my enemies and number of my enimies as my so called friends who true to their of their character left me after their work was done . I was thinking about the futility for such madness,mad competition and rat race amongst the madding crowd in the din and bustle of daily routine life especially when all the soldiers along the king and queen would be kept in the same box after the game of chess is over.I thought my self to resign out of all such worldly activities.It could be far more better and safer to depend on self than to depend upon the fickle minded mob.
Just at this time I came back to my senses at the call of my driver informing me that the car was ready and asked me to come immediately and carefully as the place was supposed to be the breeding grounds of snakes.Within a couple of seconds I found myself inside the car thinking that there is no dearth of snakes either in a serene place like this or modern society and snakes in the guise of human being could be the most dangerous whom we used to meet of and on in our daily routine.
Within the next one hour i.e by 9 pm I was back to the din and bustle of the modern life.The pomp and glory out side attracted my attention and I found life in it. I felt it is better back to be in the lap of madness and better to be in association with some pure mad people in as much as they can not pretend and avoid the so called intelligents.It is better being a human than to be a human being.
The story does not end here.After about 3/4 days we visited the place to enjoy the serinity of the place as also to give the chowkidar a reasonable amount for providing us the most needed service.we reached the place and every thing found was in exact order as that of our previous ecperience but could not locate the Bungalow only.on enquiry with the villagers we were told that indeed there was an inspection Bungalow long long timr ago may be about 30 years back.But few extremists torched the bungalow at that time to protest against the local government.And the entire bungalow along with one chowkidar was gutted into fire and turned in to Ashes. The reminiscent of the bungalow like foundation, broken and burnt bricks were lying here and there.But we saw even spent some time......Is it a case of Anachronism or hallucination
Sunday, 4 September 2016
SOMETHING FROM THE PAGES OF HISTORY AND SOMETHING FROM MY FANTASY
SUBHASH CHANDRA BOSE WON THE CONGRESS PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION AGAINST SRI SITA RAM PATTAVIYA DESPITE STRONG OPPOSITION OF GANDHIJI AGAINST SUBHASH CHSANDRA BOSE,MR BOSE DID NOT GET ANY COOPERATION FROM GANDHIJI AS HE TOOK THE DEFEAT BY HEART AND ULTIMATELY BOSE WANTED TO LEAVE CONGRESS.GANDHIJI ASKED HIM TO RESIGN FROM THE POST OF PRESIDENT BUT TO REMAIN IN THE PARTY TO HELP HIM SUBHASH BOSE REPLIED SPIRITEDLY THAT WHEN MY PRESENCE AS PRESIDENT COULD NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY AGAINST THE INTEREST OF SOME BODY,HOW COME MY ABSENCE IS GOING TO ALTER THE SITUATION AND GANDHIJI REMAINED SPEECHLESS.GANDHIJI ACKNOWLEDGED HIS ROLE AND CONFERRED HIM THE TITLE NETAJI SUBSEQUENTLY AND PERHAPS REALISED HIS MISTAKE. BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT PANDIT NEHERU WROTE TO BRITISH RAJ AFTER INDEPENDENCE TO DECLARE BOSE AS WAR CRIMINAL AND EVEN REPORTEDLY SAID"I WILL BE THE FIRST PERSON TO RECEIVE HIM WITH OPEN SWORDS"NO BOSE NEVER CAME BACK . PERHAPS IN THE FEAR OF PANDIT JI.😊☺
YOU LOOK BACK TO YOUR LIFE YOU WILL FIND LOT OF SIMILAR INCIDENTS BUT AGAINST A DIFFERENT BACK DROP AND YOU HAD TO SWALLOW IT TO SAIL OBLIVIOUS OF YOUR SELF RSTEEM BUT TO FAN THE SELF ESTEEM OF THE PERSON YOU LOVE OR COMPELLED TO RESPECT MUCH FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER.
BUT JUST THINK THIS SACRIFICE IS WORTH OR NOT. BE INTELLIGENT AND
NOT TO BE DRIVEN BY HEART.
Saturday, 3 September 2016
The Test
A mother in law decided to take a test to ascertain as to who among her three son's in law love her much.... so on the 1st day she jumped into a pond and the eldest son in law too jumped in to the pond immediately and saved her.Being very satisfied,she presented him a car
2nd day ,she again did the same thing and the 2nd son in law also saved her by jumping in to the pond.And she being very satisfied presented a bike to him
On the 3rd day the same drama was enacted by the mother in law.But the youngest son in law did not jump in to the pond thinking that he would be getting only a bicycle which would not commensurate his labour and the mother in law expired being drowned. ....
Next day the youngest son in law was presented with a BMW car but who gave it????????????
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His father in law..
Saturday, 20 August 2016
EVEN BEYOND RAMAYANA
EVEN BEYOND RAMAYANA,THE TRADITION STILL GOES ON.THE RULE MOVES ACCORDING TO THE WISHES OF RULLER.
Fierce battle had been going on between Meghnath (The son of Ravana and the great warrior)and Laxmana.There had been volley of inflammable arrows being shot from either sides but the war continued.while Meghnath tried his all tricks to overpower Laxmana but Laxmana defended and evaded them to continue the battle.Ultimately Meghnath used the most powerful and deadly weapon Brhamastra against Laxmana and Laxmana was seriously injured and fell unconscious being unable to evade the Brhamastra.The doctor brothers Ashwani were called from the heaven to treat Laxmana but after examining him, they both opined that the condition of Laxmana was very critical and would survive maximum upto 24 hours unless he was administered the juices of panacea leaves of Vishwallykarani tree available only on Vindhyachal parvat or mountain which was far far of from that place.Lord Rama ordered Hanuman to bring those leaves immediately.Hanuman left immediately,reached vindhyachal parvat but could not locate the Vishwallykarani tree.....let alone the panacea leaves.So he uprooted the entire mountain and brought it to a place near Rameshwaram where the treatment of Laxmana was going on.The tree was spotted out and the juice of panacea leaves was given to Laxmana and thus his life was saved.Now the time came for Hanuman to claim his tour expenses.so he submitted the tour programme and the relevant tour expenses mentioning clearly that he had to undertake the journey immediately at the instruction of Lord Rama and therefore he could not get his tour programme approved before hand due to exigencies and sent the bill to Ajodhya for sanction.The processing officer in the H R department was not happy with Hanuman for some reasons.So he declined the proposal on grounds of1)The tour programme was approved reportedly at the instruction of Rama but Sri Bharatha is the king who has not consented it and hence irregular 2)Hanuman being a scale one officer is not entitled to go by air and hence airfare is beyond his eligibility 3)Hanuman as a scale one officer failed to locate the panacea leaves and instead brought the entire mountain causing huge expenses to the exchequer,if sanctioned, for bringing goods in excess of the normal limit and exhibited gross negligence in carrying out his assigned official duties. Accordingly the bill was returned unpaid along with a memorandum addressed to Hanuman seeking his explanation as to why suitable disciplinary action was not to be taken against Hanuman for deriliction of duties.Hanuman was very upset and approached Lord Rama but Lord Rama declined to interfere in such tiny matters.Hence Hanuman approached Laxmana who became furious and asked Hanuman"I want the telephone number of regional Head"The number was provided and suitable instructions were conveyed.Next day the the said processing officer was transferred out of the department and a new officer was placed in his place.He again processed the bill and overruled the objections as1)Though king Bharatha was ruling the kingdom but he was so doing the same thing as a representative of Lord Rama.And Hence both Lord Rama and Bharatha were entitled to approve tour programme.Lord Rama was entitled as king or principal and Bharatha on the strength of power of attorney as agent.2) It is a fact that Hanuman being a scale one officer was not entitled to go by air but because of the dire emergency and exigency Hanuman had to resort to air travel and such travel had the implicit approval of Lord Rama and as an exception,the air fare should be sanctioned considering the importance of the task assigned to him
3)Hanuman though a scale one officer but was not exposed to any training and as such it was quite natural for him to fail to identify the panacea leaves.He did a yeoman's job by bringing the entire mountain which not only helped to save the life of Laxmana but saved the exchequer from huge Expenditure for multiple visits in case the same would not have been brought.
Hence the entire bill was sanctioned,the memorandum was withdrawn and he was given incentive of Rs.5000/ for his outstanding work
(E&O. E)
NO MALICE AND LOVE TO ALL
Wednesday, 10 August 2016
LUNCH WITH GOD
A little boy wanted to meet God.
He packed his suitcase with two sets of his dress and some packets of Cakes and he started his journey.
He walked a long and felt tired.
So he sat in a park on the way and opened a packet to take a cake to eat.
Then he noticed an old woman sitting sad with hunger nearby, so he offered her a piece of cake.
She gratefully accepted it with a wide look and smiled at him. Her smile was so pretty that the boy longed to see it again. After some time he offered her another piece of cake.
Again, she accepted it and smiled at him.
The boy was delighted!
They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.
While it grew dark, the boy was frightened and he got up to leave but before he had gone more than a few steps, he ran back and gave her a hug and she kissed him with her prettiest smile.
When the boy opened the door,his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you look so happy?"
He replied, "I had lunch with God."
Before his mother could respond, he added,
"You know what? She's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen in my life!"
Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home.
Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face and asked,
"Mom, what did you do today that made you so happy?
"She replied, "I ate cakes in the park with God."
Before her son responded, she added,"You know, he's much younger than I expected."
Too often we underestimate the power of
a touch,
a smile,
a kind word,
a listening ear,
an honest compliment,
or the smallest act of caring,
all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
Remember, nobody knows how God will look like.
People come into our lives for a reason,
for a season,
or for a lifetime.
Accept all of them equally!
AND LET THEM SEE GOD OR DOG IN YOU!!!
Simple but sweet
All the problems
are stuck between
"Mind" & "Matter".
If u don't "Mind",
It does not matter"
Tuesday, 2 August 2016
Modern ethics a boon or bane
When did Akash die!oh he expired last Saturday while coming
back to his house drunk after attending the night birth day celebration party with his friends at a club.
No it's wrong! Akash was killed on that day only when his parents handed him over wad of notes to enable him to celebrate the birth day party with his class mates of a reputed English medium school.Though he was hardly 12 or 13 by age but his parents never objected to his desire.
Akash was killed on that day when his parents presented him a costly mobile on his promotion to class VIII
. Akash died on that day when he had not to face even a feeble objection from his mother despite chatting with his girlfriends althrought the night.She did not have the courage to say even as to what he was doing till the wee hours of the night and Akash died on that day only when the class teacher praised Akash for doing exceedingly well in English paper but never cared to bless him to be a good soul.
Akash died on that day when the sweet chirpings of the bird failed to get him up in the morning.
In fact Akash and likes were ever alive at all?Did not they cease to exist long back!
They can not hear the melodious chirpings of the birds.The fairy tales never entered their ears through the head phones plugged always.
They have never seen the autocrat and Monocrat of the day being parambulated to the eastern horizon of the sky ushering a new day.The glow of the full moon never helps them to secrete Adrenaline to make their hearts emotional.
They do not get invitation in birthday party but arranges a cocktail party.The mini clad girl friends of CULTURED families serve drink.Such parties do not believe in exchange of hearts but no taboo for physical relationship devoid of love and romance.They engage themselves in fierce fighting over such issues as Dogs or Jackals do over the corpse of any animal.The guardians appreciate it or else it degrades their dignity and social prestige.They are the most moderns cultured and educated
They are so progressive thar even after two days of the demise of their grand mother who had taken all the care of the child since his birth,never mind to celebrate the birthday party at the flat of his mod girlfriend.
The seniors of the resedential society to which Akash belongs to never objects even by any chance they happen to see the junior boys and girls drinking publicly. This is the symptom of progressive society where no interference is allowed and indifference is the sign of culture.
Akash and alike are dying day by day every day. The effect of modern society,lack of family values, the busy Ness of parents,absence of moral education in schools,lack of vigilance over the discipline of the society and infiltration of politics in all matters are murdering hundred of Akash and Akash ever day. That is why they are in different to the aspirations of a disciplined society.Inspite of their good education, they are reluctant to call a physician to treat their ailing grand mother, will not go to the market ---let alone take the issue less local Aunties to the Hospital.They have the physical existence but not the humane values.
They are dead and dead only.
That is why I am inclined to ask that parents how come you could give Akash Rs 1800 without any question!
Could you not ask him at least for once why so much money was required!
Prehaps that boy Akash by name would have been survived!
(Information and reports collected from various vernacular source and translated by me with some additional information as I want to share it to all India for abundant caution)
Monday, 1 August 2016
King and queen
Having heard of various fairy tales of kings and Queens from her grand mother,A kid of 7 years only was very much inspired and motivated.
So he pleaded with his parents and expressed his desire to become king and to marry 5 Queens.Being amazed,his mother asked him why so many Queens!. The boy replied---
The first queen to cook The second queen for marketing and domestic work.
The third queen to help the mom and so on and so on etc.
The mother asked then with whom he was going to share his bed during the night.
The boy replied that he would continue to sleep with her mom only.
The eyes of the mother were filled with tears of love and affection.
Nonetheless she asked as to what would happen with the 5 Queens.The boy replied innocently that they would sleep with Dad.
Tears of joy and Man of the match rolled down from the eyes of the father.
Sunday, 31 July 2016
Age and experience
An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly,
"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.
The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.
The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old Doberman sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says .......
"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"
Moral of this story...
Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
Bull Shit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
Please share this to five of your close friends for ready reference.
Of course, I am in no way insinuating that you are old, just 'youthfully challenged'. 😃
Saturday, 23 July 2016
THE SUPER MAN
On the eve of Bawali release shortly Rajani kumar is back....
All new series on Rajnikumar:
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Rajnikumar was shot today... Tomorrow is the bullet`s funeral!
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Rajnikumar killed a terrorist in Pakistan 'via Bluetooth'!
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Rajnikumar can draw a straight line with a compass
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Rajnikumar`s pulse is measured in Richter scale!
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The new Rupee symbol is actually Rajnikumar`s signature!!!
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Rajnikumar has a statue of Madame Tussauds at his house!!
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Rajnikumar is the secret of Boost`s
energy;
and Complan is a Rajnikumar boy!
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Rajnikumar participated in 100m race, obviously he came first, but
Einstein died watching that, since Light came second!!
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Intel's new ad: "Rajnikumar Inside"
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When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had two missed calls from Rajnikumar
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Why does needle of magnetic compass always point towards North??? . . Because, Rajnikumar lives in the South and no one has guts to point at south!!!
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The apple which fell on Newton was actually thrown by Rajnikumar!
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An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai, Rajinikumar stopped it in Lonawala!
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Rajnikumar can whistle in 5 different languages!
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Only Rajnikumar knows why Mona Lisa is smiling.
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Rajnikumar is the person in the world who can make his girlfriend admit her mistake!
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Rajnikumar went to the world cooking championship...of course Rajini won. But
guess what did he make in final??? Lal mirchi ki meethi kheer.
Tuesday, 19 July 2016
NO MALICE HUMOUR ONLY
NO MALICE BUT HUMOUR ONLY NO MALICE BUT HUMOUR ONLY
Where is Kerala heading?
First they closed all liquor shops.
Now they want women to enter Sabarimala temple.
The only 2 places where men usually go for peace of mind.
Where is Kerala heading?
First they closed all liquor shops.
Now they want women to enter Sabarimala temple.
The only 2 places where men usually go for peace of mind.
SEETA AND GEETA
NARAYANA:- TOUCH GEETA AND SWEAR THAT WHATEVER YOU SAY IS TRUTH AND TRUTH ONLY.
RAVANA:-ARE YOU MAD OR WHAT THAT YOU ARE ASKING ME TO TOUCH GEETA.ONLY A FEW MONTHS BACK,I WANTED TO TOUCH SITA AND YOU KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ME! IDIOT?
FALLACY
DELHI TO BHUBANEDHWAR DISTANCE 1600MS
BHUBANESHWAR TO DELHI DISTANCE 1600KMS.
GROUND FLOOR TO 15TH FLOOR 16 FLOORS.
15TH FLOOR TO GROUND FLOOR 16 FLOORS.
MONDAY TO SUNDAY 7 DAYS
SUNDAY TO MONDAY ONLY 1 DAY !
CHEATING GREAT CHEATING
.
Thursday, 14 July 2016
GLOBALIZATION
Really superb example well written
Question : What is the truest definition of Globalization ?
Answer : Princess Diana's death.
Question : How come ?
Answer :An English princess
with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car
with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian
who was drunk on Scottish whisky:
followed closely by Italian Paparazzis
on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor,
using Brazilian medicines.
And moreover this is sent to you by an
Indian
using American technology, and you're probably reading this on your iPhone or Android or Windows phone or blackberry,
that use Taiwanese chips,
and a Korean screen,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers
in a Singapore plant,
transported by Pakistani lorry-drivers
That is...
Globalisation!!!!!
Tuesday, 12 July 2016
SUR BAHAR
That was the year of 1958.There was a shop selling only musical instruments of Indian origin at Los Angeles in South california of United states of America.At that time that was the only shop in the whole of America selling Indian musical instruments. Mr.David Burndard was the proprietor of the shop.
One day an Indian young man aged about 35 years of age with a very ordinary and un impressive dress came to the shop as a customer.No body in the shop showed any interest or paid any attention to him.Jusf out of courtesy and etiquette ,one sales woman Christina by name attended him with a fake smile and interest.The young Indian wanted to see some Sitars.Christina showed him number and variety of sitars but none was his likings for.Suddenly he spotted one Sitar kept in very careful elegant manner on the top shelve of a show case.He immediately wanted to see that particular Sitar.
On the one hand that Sitar was kept on the uppermost shelve in a very careful manner and as such it was troublesome to bring it down and it was the most costly sitar and presumably beyond the capacity of the Indian to purchase it,Christiana was reluctant but the Indian wanted that Sitar only.The proprietor David Burndard stepped in and as per his instruction,that sitar was brought down.Christiana at that time informed him nonchalantly that this Sitar is known as BOSS and no Tom,Dick or Harry sitarist can play it.The young Indian promptly replied "you people may know it by BOSS but in our country it is known as SURBHAR". Then he asked if he could play it for few minutes. David Burnard permitted him.New strings were attached and tuning was done.
The young Indian sat to play the sitar.Lo and behold after few minutes ,all the sales men and women and other emoyees left their work to assemble near the young Indian.Even the customers leaving their transactions gathered around the young Indian Sitarist to listen to the magical and hypnotising melodious connotation and annotaton of the rythmic tunes of the seven strings produced by the soft artistic strokes of the trained fingers of the Indian. After finishing the tunes of Alap, Jor and Jhalor when the Indian raised his face,he found a spell bound audience standing before him looking with amazing eyes wide open and was completely motionless.Slowly the shop filled with the sound of spontaneous claps and claps that continued for few minutes.
The Indian was also very satisfied He wanted to purchase it. David Burnard came forward and asked his credentials.He said" I have heard Ravi Sankar(Ravi Sankar is not related to me even by satellite barrring some similirity in the name )playing sitar and he is the best.But I tell you you are no inferior to Ravi Sankar. I can not sell this sitar but I want to gift it to you"
When the young Indian was coming out of the shop,he was stopped by Christiana who with her emotion choked voice and tears in her eyes begged apology saying her misconception "Let me now accept that you are the rightful owner of this exquisite and pricelrss sitar.you will go back to your country and I know we will never meet any more.So at this last moment,I request you to write your name on this one dollar note so that I can keep it for ever with me."
The young man smiled and wrote his name SALIL CHOWDHURY.
SOME MORE ADDITIONAL INFORMATION FOR THOSE WHO ARE INTERESTED.
Salil after returning to India composed a song which reads as NA JEONA RAJANI AKHONO BAKI. ... NO NO PLEASE DON'T GO NIGHT IS STILL YOUNG.The musical tone and tune was emanated from that BOSS sitar.. The Hindi translation of that song OH SAJNA,BARKHA BAHAR AAYEE also from contains the tune from that sitar
Monday, 11 July 2016
Intelligence at its height
Intelligent Bengali Babu
One skinny bony lanky Bengali gentleman was travelling from chennai to Howrah along with his wife by coromondal express. I was also travelling by that train.Being both of us Bengali and me weak in Hindi and English we became friends.However I found that gentleman to be talkative and loud mouthed.Some of his experience is really very difficult to digest and unpalatable.yet I had no other option but to listen
Meanwhile a young well built keralite gentleman along with his wife and two kids boarded the train.
Next morning I was busy with the two naughty but lively kids and gave little attention to that Bengali baboo as I was tired of his cock and bull stories.Perhaps that was not liked by that gentleman.After some time when the train was to enter West Bengal, that Bengali gentleman picked up quarrel with that keralite young boy over a very trivial issue.In the process the Bengali gentleman used some unparliamentary language and the keralite young man slapped him hard.Even then the Bengali baboo said how dare you? just slap my daughter and I will see you.The other man was angry but just made a symbolic slap on his daughter and asked Yes what can you do !Even though vanquished the Bengali baboo continued to go on and said OK you slap my wife I will simply kill you. The keralite young man repeated the same and slapped the wife very lightly.The Bengali baboo said let Howrah come I will beat you black and blue.The keralite young man replied cooly we all will get down at kharagpur.The Bengali said OK at kharagpur only I will pay the price.Ultimarely kharagpur station came and that family got down without any hindrance.
The wife of the Bengali baboo got wild and accused him doing nothing to save the prestige of the family.The Bengali baboo laughs out like a mad and said what more I can do.If he would have slapt me alone you would have told to everyone to my shame.Now all of us have been slapt and the matter would remain confidential.
Saturday, 9 July 2016
Professional language
Every profession has a language of its own.say for example if somebody wants to say that the situation could not be salvaged in spite of best efforts,A doctor will say the operation is not successful while a banker will say oh Ho the account could not be brought out of mock run or shit! all our efforts became NPA and so on.
Anirban is a small dealer of mobile phone and related services.one day he had his stomach upset and the situation became out of control.So he went to a doctor and explained his problem as follows :-
Sir my sim card in my stomach does not work properly.outgoings continue endlessly coupled with continuous vibrations in my stomach. Added to it new ring tones are heard with new connotation and annotation one after another and the balance in my stomach is fully exhausted.Even it is recharged sir it is discharged just within 5 minutes.Even miss calls are being responded unintentionally.sir I am really at a loss without any tower. Please deactivate the scheme.
Last but not least I request you all to tell how this would have been told by a banker
Commando
Once my friend surya was being interviewed for the post of a commando in Army.
Interviewer: We want a person with suspicious mind , always alert, merciless, ready to attack, acute sense of hearing, detective ability,de7ceptive smiles,poisonous tongue and most importantly having a killer instinct!!! So do you think you are eligible???
Surya: Sir.... Can my wife Baishali apply?
No Surya was not selected and Baishali never applied for the job.But both of them lives a happily married life ever or Surya at least pretends to do so or else who wants to be the subject of the object of an unptofessional commando.
Wednesday, 6 July 2016
Rathayatra
To day being the auspicious day of Rathya yatra, my wife asked me to bring the necessary puzza materials from the market with a list depicting all the articles including fruits etc from the market to have a small puzza in the house. I did it but at the time of arranging it by the priest,it was found the 5 pieces of different fruits to be kept on a betel leave each was not brought.The fruit market is at a distant place and the time was odd.To manage the situation,,I took out the bottle of guava, pineapple,mango,litchi and a strawberry jam/jelly and kept them over the betel leave each instead of the fruits and in addition kept one mixed fruits jam bottle too in case the priest objects to straw berry jam.
My wife came and it was a prematured Reverse Rathya yatra for me and still I am running without any immediate respite in sight.
Tuesday, 5 July 2016
GURU NAM KEVALAM
Classic.. must must read GURU NAM KELLAM.
One day The guru told the disciple :
Go to the rose garden and come back with the tallest rose plant. One condition is that you should not come back the same path you took while going.
The disciple went to the garden and came back empty handed. When asked why, the disciple gave his answer:
As I went in, I saw a tall beautiful tree. But, I kept going on for the next tree expecting a better tree. But moving forward, I came across only smaller plants and since, I cannot come the same path back, I had to return empty handed.
The guru said: this is *Love*
Then he said: now go to the sunflower garden and bring the most beautiful sunflower plant.
Now the additional condition is that once you pluck a sunflower plant, you can't pluck another.
Now the disciple goes into the garden and comes back quickly with a plant. The guru asks, is this the most beautiful plant?
The disciple says: No guru. Based on my previous experience, I did not want to miss and hence, I took the first plant which looked beautiful to me. On the way back, I saw more beautiful plants but since I was not allowed to pick another plant, I came back with the plant, I had originally picked.
The guru smiled and said: this is *Marriage*...
Sunday, 3 July 2016
LEARNING GERMAN LANGUAGE WAS NEVER SO EASY
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other
possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
And....
Congratulations...! You have learnt German within minutes...
😳😜😝
COMMAND OVER LANGUAGE
A cop stops a drunk man and ask "how high are you?"
The man replies. "That is wrong English. You should say 'Hi how are you?'"😂
Thursday, 30 June 2016
WHAT IS TRAGEDY
During one of his campaign trips Donald Renolnd was visiting a training institute of a nationalised bank and went into one of the class room of the trainees . They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The centre in charge asked Mr.Renold if he would like to lead the discussion of the word “Tragedy.” So he asked the class for an example of a tragedy.A young trainee stood up and told "if a newly formed private bank goes in to liquidation within a short span of its inception because of the financial irregularities committed by the promoters with the help of some inexperienced but greedy employees at the cost of unsuspecting depositors,it is called tragedy"
“No,” said Mr.Renold “that would be an act of fraud”
A little girl raises her hand: “If all the employees or executives would have lost their job on liquidation , that would be a tragedy.”
“I’m afraid not,” explained the exalted speaker . “That’s what we would call a natural consequences for those who got bank job without any rigorous process of selection and at best be termed as a price for the lust who joined the new bank at some body's recommendation or without any eligibility ”
The room goes silent. No other trainees volunteered. Mr. Renold searches the room.
“Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
Finally at the back of the room, a boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: “If all such incompetent employees would have been recruited with any reputed bank without any examination in the same rank and after some time even promoted to higher cadre
that would be a tragedy.”
“Fantastic!” exclaims Mr. Renolnd , “That’s absolutely right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”
“Well,” says the boy, “because it wouldn’t be a fraud nor even a little loss to those employees but a great loss to the existing loyal staff members and probably wouldn’t be an accident either but a great feat of luck to those new employees and some other but at the genuine Loss to the reputed bank nay of the society or country.”
Saturday, 25 June 2016
PROFESSIONAL FEES
A HEART TOUCHING INCIDENT.
🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺
It was an incident sometimes in the year of 2015 on a lazy winter afternoon in Bangalore.
At that time I was going to my residence from the office by club road koromomgla.My driver stopped the car in between just opposite to Nair Bakery shop specially famous for selling instantly done potato chips crisp dried and hot albeit at a little higher price. I got down to purchase some crisp hot potato chips and found my money bag almost empty as I had forgotten to withdraw cash from the ATM. Yet I purchased 200 gms and was coming back by crossing the road.At that time I saw a middle aged begger asking for money by holding his hat up side down.I felt teribbly sympathetic and the good generous man inside me woke up.I walked down to him and gave him the packet containing chips and was about to come back when the person begging money asked in a different tone, Money please?I said illa meaning no and to drive my point home showed him even the money bag.His eyes sparkled for a while and then the facial expression changed completely and with a soft voice apparently being choked up with sentiments handed me a total sum of Rs 105 by pulling it from the hole of his hat. I was wondersruck and asked him why. He told me he had not tasted this nice potato chips for long for want of money.Afted having seen it, he felt greedy and felt having an urge of tasting the chips with few pegs whisky.so he asked me to bring one quarter bottle of whisky and a mineral water bottle from the near by liquor shop as he was lame and found it difficult to walk.I did it like a waxen doll in full public view.
Moral of the story :-you must have to pay either by cash or kind or service if you attend to the call of any professional service.No compromise on quantum of professional fees.Every body has his self esteem.
The person who sent it to remind me of the incident is known to me and is undergoing treatment at some place and is sure to come back to health shortly.Let all of us pray for speedy recovery to come back to kolkata at the earliest only to be readmitted to any nursing home with some multiple bone fractures to square up the professional fees.
Friday, 24 June 2016
ANAGRAMS
Here is a list of word pairs, called ANAGRAMS. The interesting part is they are formed by the same set of alphabets but convey a mutually contradictory or sometimes complementary meaning. Here are a dozen of them.
1. Teach Cheat
Some BABAs teach, some cheat and remaining BABAS teach to .....
.
2. Listen. Silent
Be silent and listen.
3. Admirer. Married
Status before and after marriage.
4.Fast. Fats
Either fast or add fats as you feast.
5. Marital. Martial
A misplaced 'I' turns marital relationship into martial one.
6. Creative. Reactive
You can never be creative if you are reactive.
7. Sweat. Waste
If you dont sweat as a youth you will waste your entire life, so sweat or waste.
8. Bedroom. Boredom
Always keep boredom out of your bedroom because that is the place where you spent half of your life and mostly in your own company.
9. Vote. Veto
One veto and a million votes undone.
10. Exist. Exits
We exist between our entries and exits.
11. Stain. Saint
Hard to find a saint without a stain.
12. Split. Spilt
Spilt to avoid being spilt
Thursday, 23 June 2016
THE WISDOM
Madam Bhattacharya is with with her Boss Mr.B.R.Sankar.
Madam Bhattacharya: "sir, any tips you can give me to enjoy authority powerwithout doing anything, the way you have been for so long?"
"Well," said her boss Mr.Sankar, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Madam Bhattacharya frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are intelligent? "
Mr.Shankar: "Easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."
Mr.Sankar pushed a button on her intercom. " Mr.Monda , would you come in here, please?"
Mr.Monda walked into the room and said, "Yes,sir?"
Mr.Shankar smiled and said, "Answer me this please, Monda. Your mother and father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Monda answered, "That would be me, Sir."
"Very good! Thank you, Monda!" said the boss.
Then he turned to Madam Bhattacharya with a smile and said "See?"And Monda is the junior most officer in our department.
Now its Madam Bhattacharya's turn to apply the same logic....
Madam Bhattacharya back to her place and asked Mr Atish.
"Atish da , answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," said Atish. "Let me get back to my chamber on that one..." and I will let you the answee
ARISH discussed the issue with his friends and asked every one, but none could give him an answer...
Finally, he ran into his boss Mr jagdish Bal
and asked, "sir, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"..
Mr Jagdish Bal answered, "That's easy, it's me!"..
Atish said, "Thanks!"
Then he went back to Madam Bhattacharya "I did some thinking and I have the answer to that riddle. It's my boss MrJagdish Bal.
Madam Bhattacharya brcame red with rages
and shouted..
"No ! You dumb fool ! It's Mr.Monda Assistant to Mr.B.R.Sankar !"
THE OLD MAN AND THE FISHING ROD
There has been drizzling since morning.The pot hole on the road in front of a pub was full of water to its brim and an old man completely drenched in the rain was in a siting posture by bending his knees patiently in front of the pot hole with a fishing rod apparently in a bid to catch fish.
One more gentle man while crossing the road saw him sitting and felt sympathy for him. He invited him for a couple of drinks to boost his energy.
Amid the warmth atmosphere of the pub while both of them toasted cheers with the glass of whisky,the gentle man while sipping the elixir slowly by enjoying the taste on the tip of his toungue,asked the old man "how many stuff you have caught sofar since morning"
The old man replied "No...not much.You are the 7 th catch"
Wednesday, 15 June 2016
One day at school
Teacher: Sujith, answer me. What do you wanna be when you grow up.
Sujith: Teacher, I wish to become a very rich man. My business should be in all major cities. I should buy a big bungalow. I will always travel by air. Wherever I go into should stay in 5 star hotels. There should be minimum 10 servants to take care of my needs. I should own the costliest car. I should have the costliest diamond.
Teacher: Stop Sujith. Students, henceforth you should not give such lengthy answer. Please reply in a sentence. Ok.
Now you tell me Mallua. What do you want to be?
Mallua:-Sujith's wife ....
🤑🤑🤑
Fine snd Tax
In a class of Taxation, the professor asked Vishwanath:-- Do you know what does Fine stand for?
Vishwanath:- Yes sir.It is a tax for doing the wrong thing.
Professor:--Then Tax?
Vishwanath:---- It is a fine for doing the right thing.
The professor has been in a lunatic asylum for the last 5 years and still there is no sign of slightest improvemrnt.
PARAPROSDOKIANS
First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them).
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor."
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
Sunday, 12 June 2016
ARGUMENT
There has been a tremendous argument between a donkey and a fox over the colour of grass.The donkey said it's yellow while the fox insisted it to be green.Having failed to convince each other, the matter was placed before the king of animals The Lion for arbitration. The lion on hearing both the sides sentenced the fox to one year rigourous imprisonment.The fox just asked the lion is it just trial ? The lion replied the colour of the grass is definitely green but your action warrants deterrent punishment in as much as you have involved yourself in argument with a donkey causing serious loss of man power and avoidable Expenditure
®®® Presently we have been engaging ourselves with unnecessary arguments with such human being who will never accept himself to be wrong even if all the evidences are produced against his opinion.It is criminal negligence to argue with them
Saturday, 11 June 2016
BIG ZERO
OH THE GREAT TEACHER,I COULD NOT LEARN MATHEMATICS FROM YOU. ALL THE DIGITS HAVE BEEN EVAPORATED ONE BY ONE LEAVING A BIG ZERO FOR ME.
.
Marketing terminology
MARKETING TERMINOLOGY EXPLAINED IN LUCID LANGUAGE.
1)you see a gorgeous girl in a party,you go to her and say i am smart ,rich and educated.Please marry me.This is Direct marketing.
2)you see a gorgeous girl in a party with an apparent unsmart
boy friend and you go to her and say donot you think I am better than your present boy friend!This is called in direct marketing.
3)you attend a party and your friend goes to a girl and pointing at you tells her he is very rich and educated ,marry him.This is called Advertising.
4)The girl walks to you and says I know you are rich and educated, can you marry me.This is called Brand recognition
5)you say I am rich and educated and the girl cooly introduces you to her husband.This is called Mismatch in supply and demand or demand and supply gap
6)Before you say I am rich and educated marry me ,your wife arrives at the scene.This is cslled
Restrictions from entering the new market.
7)You introduce yourself and the girl listens to you carefully with all interest and says ILU.Donot be elated this is a sophisticated way of saying no.i t does not mean I love you but means I !eave you.This is cslled communication gap in marketing
8)You say confidently that I am rich and educated ,marry me and she slaps you tight.zThat is Called customer feed back
The author of this write up was a very very successful principal Marketing officer of a Nationalised bank and gave shape to the marketing strategies of the zone that brought many laurels for the bank with the help of other young and energetic marketing officers.The entire write up is based on practical experience only.
Wednesday, 8 June 2016
THE JUDGEMENT SEAT OF BIKRAMADITYA
THE GREAT SAGE SWAMI VIVEKANAND SAID EDUCATION DOES NOT MEAN THE AMOUNT OF INFORMATION THAT IS BEING PUT IN TO YOUR BRAIN AND RUNS RIOT THERE UNDIGESTED ALL YOUR LIFE.IT MEANS,INTERALIA,CHARACTER BUILDING. BUT WHAT DOES CHARACTER BUILDING MEAN.YOU SHOULD BE HONEST YOUR SELF AND ALLOW OTHERS TO DO TO WRONG FOR MAKING YOUR FUTURE?.YOU MAY LOVE YOUR PARENTS TOO MUCH BUT DOES IT MEAN OTHERS DONT LOVE THEM.IF YOU LOVE YOUR PARENTS ,WHO HAS TOLD YOU TO DISOBEY THEIR LAST WISHES. HOW CAN YOU DEFY THE REAL LOVE OF SOME ONE WHO TOOK CARE OF THEM IN YOUR ABSENCE.WHAT AUTHORITY YOU HAVE TO DEPRIVE ONE BUT TO BENIFIT OTHERS .IS IT BECAUSE THAT THEY KRPT YOU IN GOOD HUMOUR.IAM NOT BOTHERED ABOUT OTHERS WHO ARE GUIDED BY DIFFERENT MOTIVES BUT YOU TOO TURNED A NELSON'S EYE TO DEPRIVE ONE. WHAT WRONG HAS HE DONE .
DO YOU STILL BELIEVE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DISPLAY THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF SWAMI VIVEKANAND AND RAMKRISHNA? WHAT HAS PROMPTED A GOD LIKE PERSON LKE YOU.TO DEPRIVE ONE TO THE UNDUE BENIFIT OF OTHERS. DONT YOU HAVE THE SENSATION OF COCKROACHES IN YOUR HEART AT ANY POINT OF TIME !
YOU DONT BELIEVE IN THE GREAT SAYING THAT THE SINNER IS EQUALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ONE WHO TOLERATES AND ABATES THE CRIME OF THE OTHERS . EVERY BODY CAN BE CHARITABLE WITH OYHER'S MONEY BUT WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO REPLY! PLEASE BE DONOR OR CHARITABLE IN SUBSTANCE AND NOT IN FORMS.PLEASE DONT ALLOW YOUR ACTIONS LARGER THAN WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND PREACH.THE BLOOD SOME TIMES SPEAK WRONG BUT BY APPLICATION OF COCKROACH THEORY ONE CAN FIND THE ROOT CAUSE AND NOT TO ACT UPON APPARENT SYMPTOMS.
Tuesday, 7 June 2016
BITTER TRUTH
If Columbus wold have been married to a Bengali lady, he would not have been successful to discover America. Because his wife wold invariably have shot the following volley of questions:-
Where are you going?
With whom you are going?
How are you going?
What are you going to discover?
When do you come back?
How long will it take and why?
Can you not discover it here?
What will happen if you don't discover?
Why are you always interested to discover?
No other person is there to drive the wild buffaloes by taking meal from his own house?
What shall I do here alone?
Will you have lot of friends with you No?
And there will be a fountain of alcohol to be gulped by all of you No?
OK come back home I will teach you a good lesson!
Colombus:- Leave it I AM NOT GOING😁😂😀
TO BLOW HOT AND COLD IN THE SAME BREATH
Sir Winston Churchill was once asked about his position on whisky.
Here's how cleverly he answered :-
"If you mean whisky, the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody
monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home,
creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths
of little children;
If you mean that evil drink that topples men and women from the pinnacles
of righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation,
shame, despair, helplessness and hopelessness, then, my friend, I am
opposed to it with every fibre of my being."
"However, if by whisky you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic
wine, the elixir of life, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get
together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm glow of contentment
in their eyes;
If you mean good cheer, the stimulating sip that puts a little spring in
the step of an elderly gentleman on a frosty morning;
If you mean that drink that enables man to magnify his joy, and to forget
life's great tragedies and heartbreaks and sorrow;
If you mean that drink the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold
millions of pounds each year, that provides tender care for our little
crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitifully aged and
infirm, to build the finest highways, hospitals, universities, and
community colleges in this nation...
Then my friend, I am absolutely, unequivocally in favour of it..!!!
"This is my position, and as always, I refuse to compromise on matters of
principles".
😊
MANAGENENT LESSON
Doctor :
Your Liver is enlarged
Patient :
Does that mean it has space for more whisky ?
This is called...
- Positive Thinking..
😄😄😄
Lady to her dietician :- What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.
Doc :- How come???
Lady :- According to my weight, my height should be 7.8 feet... 😜
Now this is called positive attitude.. 👍👍
Self Confidence at its Peak👉
A Man wrote to SBI (India's largest lender)
"My Cheque was returned with remark 'Insufficient funds'. I want to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank".
😂
Monday, 6 June 2016
THE GENERATION GAP
THE FALLACY OF BIRTH OF LORD SRI KRISHNA
The professor was narrating the trials,tribunals sorrows and sufferings of Lord Krishna in his ancient history class.He narrated that kangsha was given to understand that he would be killed at the hands of the 8th son of Devaki and Badudev and he put both of them in jail custody under his strict surveillance.The professor expressed the sufferings of Devaki and Badudev in a dramatic manner with various connotation and annotation with modulation of his voice to keep a permanent stamp in the hearts of the students. The first son was born and he was killed by poison.The second son was born and immediately he was cut into two pieces and so on.Meanehile a student raised his hand in a bid to ask something. The professor stopped for a while,wiped out the sweat from his forehead and asked him yes what is your question?
The student asked the professor calmly when it was known to Kangsha that he would be killed by the 8th son yet to be born out of the wedlock of Devaki and Badudev why were
both of them kept together in the prison by kangsha?
The professor got fainted.
THIS IS CALLED GENERATION GAP
Sunday, 5 June 2016
DARE TO DREAM BEYOND IIM
DARE TO DREAM BEYOND IIM.THEN LEARN MANAGEMENT IN A DIFFERENT MANNER:--
Gabbar Singh was a *MANAGEMENT GURU* as is reflected in some of the timeless management lessons he delivered thru the movie *Sholay.*
Read On...They are awesome..!👌
1. *Jo Darr Gaya - Samjho Mar Gaya!*
Courage and enterprise are important factors for laying the successful foundation of a growth oriented business.In case of success take the full credit and failure pass it on to your junior without any hesitation.
👍😃👍
2. *Kitne Admi The..??*
It's important to know the competition and its size. He understood that even a small team can make a difference.
👍😃👍
3. *Arey O Sambha, Kitna Inaam Rakhe Hai Sarkar Hum Par?*
Know your market value. Promoting one's own brand is very important and to be reiterated always . Always beat your own and boss drums or else your drum will be used as spitoons.
👍😃👍
4. *Goli 6 Aur Aadmi 3!*
Create an Impression that sufficient infrastructure has been provided with less manpower and keep the rmploees under tension to perform or perish while you the seniors relax and productivity will be increased to your credit only
👍😃👍
5. *Le Ab Goli Kha*
Sometimes in the interest of the organisation you have to take hard and unpopular decisions....
So sometimes a leader has to 'fire' some employees.
👍😃👍
6. *Yeh Ramgarh Waale Apni Betiyon Ko Kaunsi Chakki Ka Aata Khilate Hai Re.*
Market research is important to understand value propositions !!
👍😃👍
7. *Yeh Haath Mujhey Dedey Thakur.*
Identify elements of threats in the market and take measures to minimise them.
👍😃👍
8. *Holi Kab Hai, Kab Hai Holi ?*
Conduct advance mapping of key events within the industry and devise penetration strategy to have a competitive edge over your rivals.😜😂🙏😜😂
Be a successful Regional /Zonal manager and so on
SELLING TOMATOES
A jobless man applied for the job of "sweeper" at Microsoft.
The HR interviewed him..
Then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.
"You are Appointed" he said.
"Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the forms to fill in".
The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."
"I'm sorry", said the HR manager...
"If you don't have an email, that means u do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."
The man left with no hope at all.
He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket.
He then decided to go to the supermarket & buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a Door to Door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital.
He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.
The man realised that he can survive this way, and started to go everyday earlier and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.
Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles. 5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US .
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life Insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email."
The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!"
The man thought for a while and replied,
"Yes, I'd be a sweeper at Microsoft!"
Moral of the story:
1) Internet/email/bbm/whatsapp is not the solution to your life.
2) If you don't have facebook a/c., internet/email/bbm/whatsapp , and work hard, you can be a millionaire by selling tomatoes or even can go faster than plane by riding a snail.
3)Thy name of kapal is Gopal.Luck favours the luckiest.
4)Always take the opportunity of the good willingness of others and grab every thing oblivious of interest of others shamelessly and be away to Internet what's app phone etc to avoid disturbing questions😁😂😃
Must read
P.S. -Please don't disturb me now as
I'm busy selling Tomatoes
🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅
Saturday, 4 June 2016
THE AMAZING WAY OF REPAYMENT OF DEBT
During the period I was posted as head of the Zonal vigilance cell Kolkata,I had the experience of getting the taste of this noble way, never thought of or even dreamt of me ever.Let me first clarify that the expectations of those waiting eagerly for a blood spinning thriller will be belied as it is not a story of fraud forgery or thriller but simply an eye opener to show how easily a man can be hoodwinked.Infact it may be treated as a confession as how big a fool I am.
Dharani was our sub staff.A young man of 30 to 35 years of age extremely obedient loyal and disciplined.He kept his family at his native place Bankura a district town about 200 kms away from Kolkata.on every Saturday he used to go to his native place only to come on Monday.He had applied for his transfer to Bankura and requested me to follow up.I did my level best only to bear fruit at a later date but not immediately.
Meanwhile on one Monday he approached me very politely for an amount of Rs 100/only with an assurance that the same would be repaid to me within next four days.i gave him that money and he too repaid it on the next Thursday.Again on Monday he borrowed rs100/ from me and paid on Thursday.This process was repeated four or five times. Inquisitively I asked him as why he was doing like that and I even proposed to extend the repayment period say by 2months so that he could tide over his crisis.He flatly refused saying sir one must keep his commitment come what may.I may borrow money but to prove my intention I must pay it on the appointed day without any fail.He even thanked me for my indulgence and proposal to extend the repayment period saying,inter alia,extended repayment period was not feasible in view of the fact he might forget his commitment due to absence of his mental pressure unlike repayment in short time.Hence he preferred short time repayment only to borrow further if need be.
This was going on well and meanwhile his transfer order to a branch nearer to his village came.on the date of relieving after completion of all formalities, he came to my chamber and said sir today is Tuesday.And I was supposed to pay you on Thursday .How could I pay you two days before and hence I was making one arrangement.He then called the lady stenographer of our department and asked her Didi(madam)Every Thursday you pay sir rs100/ and sir every Monday you pay Didi Rs 100/.Now this becomes your matter only and I donot want to be a party to it.Both of us went speechless and motionless for few minutes
I could understand that the original amount borrowed from me on one Monday was spent by him and he borrowed rs100/from madam on Thursday to repay me and again on Monday from me to repay her on Thursday and the chain was repeated.Needless to mention Madam did not pay the amount on Thursday and I was the sufferer.A nice method of ever greening indeed.